The repeat had him squirm a bit in his seat, realizing that maybe it was a really personal question, something to laugh off. But when Alastor answered, truly answered rather than brushing it off, Lucifer stared at him in momentary surprise.
Soon he had taken his own glass with his tail and returned it to hand. The man locked out... was that his first victim, the beginning of a chain of choices that led him down here? And where was his mother, anyway?
He nodded against the rim of his glass with talk of rivals. "Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense."
Drumming his fingers against the crystal, he hitched his shoulders. "I worried about that, too. But Lily was... so sure. She always had it together, thrived as a ruler of Hell and the responsibilities. Did people try to make attempts against Charlie? Oh yeah. Definitely. There's always a Sinner or an Overlord making plans to whack me or her."
He shut his eyes tight, feeling a mote of misery in his heart. "But I don't regret her, or the decision made to have her. But I wish I was able to be there throughout all parts of her life where she must have needed me, rather than only recently."
She must have needed him at some point, right? But most times, all he could think of and wonder was if Lilith had ever told Charlie anything that... that made it harder to do so.
Lucifer shook his head to clear it and drained his glass, let the bourbon burn as he 'chewed' it before swallowing it down.
"...I suppose my point is that, even if there's that risk... parenthood's never been a safe and tidy bubble for anybody anyway. If a fuck-up like me can have that... that amazing, funny ball of starshine in my wretched life, then..."
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Soon he had taken his own glass with his tail and returned it to hand. The man locked out... was that his first victim, the beginning of a chain of choices that led him down here? And where was his mother, anyway?
He nodded against the rim of his glass with talk of rivals. "Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense."
Drumming his fingers against the crystal, he hitched his shoulders. "I worried about that, too. But Lily was... so sure. She always had it together, thrived as a ruler of Hell and the responsibilities. Did people try to make attempts against Charlie? Oh yeah. Definitely. There's always a Sinner or an Overlord making plans to whack me or her."
He shut his eyes tight, feeling a mote of misery in his heart. "But I don't regret her, or the decision made to have her. But I wish I was able to be there throughout all parts of her life where she must have needed me, rather than only recently."
She must have needed him at some point, right? But most times, all he could think of and wonder was if Lilith had ever told Charlie anything that... that made it harder to do so.
Lucifer shook his head to clear it and drained his glass, let the bourbon burn as he 'chewed' it before swallowing it down.
"...I suppose my point is that, even if there's that risk... parenthood's never been a safe and tidy bubble for anybody anyway. If a fuck-up like me can have that... that amazing, funny ball of starshine in my wretched life, then..."