He swallowed. Quietly laughed. "I should leave your station open more often. But I do have it on at night in my suite while I'm getting work done. I enjoy your monologues."
The man could read from a phone book and Lucifer would be hooked. Man, remember phone books? More relics of times past, basically like the two of them.
He finally looked up with the remark. "It's not- ...I'm not..."
Finally, he sighed. "Lily was... my only one, for so long. I'm practically inexperienced with all of this. I know you're navigating a lot of things, but... I guess I am, too."
His grip tightened slightly, seeking a lifeline. "It's my fault. No matter what people tell me or try to assure me, it was... it was all me as the weakest link, and I paid dearly for it. I don't want to mess this one up, too."
"Hmm, yes, well..." Alastor squeezed Lucifer's hold in return. He doesn't...
...Yes. He doesn't want to go. Even if he fears he might... he doesn't want to leave.
What a scary thought.
"Whatever failings you had. It was Lilith's decision to answer by leaving. She's Fallen, too, the first human to Fall. Her choices led her there and one cannot imagine she would be so much higher than any other mortal soul," Alastor speculated, keeping them gently swaying. "Blaming oneself is hardly a useful tool - self flagellation is merely a distraction from pursuing what you want in the now. So, Lucifer... what do you want right now?"
What... did he want right now? He was surrounded by things that he enjoyed seeing, and people he enjoyed being around for sure. Could he say 'more of this' without sounding indecisive?
"I..." He shrugged high. "Do you... ever have this sense like, you don't know how and you don't know when, but you just get this feeling that something is going to pull that tablecloth carrying all the things in life that you enjoy and everything will scatter all over the place?"
He eased closer, and instead rest his forehead against Alastor's front. "I want things like this. I want to keep living the life I have right now, in this moment, without feeling like something might be coming that'll just... try and stop it all entirely."
Alastor released a hand from their dancing hold so that he could cradle that head against his chest. His heart was pounding, fluttering as always... it always hurt how hard Lucifer made his heart pound. It was a good pain.
"Mm, that is the way it feels, isn't it?" Alastor agreed quietly. Like a tablecloth about to be swiped away. Rug pulled from beneath their feet. That's exactly how he felt, too, though he was sure he had more reason to expect it. More to fear, more tangible, and he simply couldn't cut the ties or explain the truth.
"I suppose we best be ready to scramble back to our feet if something does. You can't fall away from me so easily~"
Did... did he feel that way, too? But what in Hell would the Radio Demon have to be worried about...?
But to be held like this, dancing like this, was a lovely salve. Ella Fitzgerald was a legend and a wonder.
"I've spent my existence spitting in the eye of everything that's tried to tell me that I can't. It just gets so tiring being creation's scapegoat sometimes. You can only laugh so often at the bile and hatred before you want to give the world an, 'Alright, buddy, it's getting old. Stop that.'"
He tipped his head up a little. "You also couldn't shake me if you tried. I don't drop that word without meaning it... and I intend to say it as much as I'd like."
"Good. Don't let go of me for anything. Even if I bare my teeth," Alastor agreed fondly. "Because I enjoy this. I want to be here."
The exact nature of his emotions are tough to detangle, but if nothing else, he wants to keep this - that can speak for itself, can't it? Even if he'll inevitably feel cornered and bare his teeth. Even if someday he might be forced to try and push away.
Don't give up on him if he tries.
"I've felt somewhat like this before, but... the sense of calm is new. I much prefer hearing you say those words than anyone else."
"I haven't the foggiest," Alastor admitted, sliding his hand back onto Lucifer's shoulder as they swayed. "But inexplicably I find myself much more gentle than I'd dare be to anyone else."
"I see. Now who's the soft one...?" But he grinned, and because he needed it right now, he turned his head and eased his arms around the other's middle.
"Much appreciated, my good man~" Alastor chuckled, hugging him back with a little squeeze. "Far too important to look every part the dangerous Radio Demon outside - but you've already ripped me open and seen my bones and sinew~"
He snickered. God, he was such a freak... but he wouldn't have him any other way.
"And what a privilege and a delight it is. I am truly fortunate."
A smirk. "...Pity we can't say the same for those that'll be entering that labyrinth later. What do you say to some seats at the top of the staircase, get a nice birds-eye view of the chaos when the time comes?"
"That was the plan all along! Ah hah hah! What a delightful night we're in for~!"
Spying on their hapless prank victims, laughing till they nearly throw up, and then top it off with some combing through that molt? A perfect evening, if Alastor says so himself!
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sugaronthecream) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
divinetree2024-04-01 08:17 am
no subject
The man could read from a phone book and Lucifer would be hooked. Man, remember phone books? More relics of times past, basically like the two of them.
He finally looked up with the remark. "It's not- ...I'm not..."
Finally, he sighed. "Lily was... my only one, for so long. I'm practically inexperienced with all of this. I know you're navigating a lot of things, but... I guess I am, too."
His grip tightened slightly, seeking a lifeline. "It's my fault. No matter what people tell me or try to assure me, it was... it was all me as the weakest link, and I paid dearly for it. I don't want to mess this one up, too."
no subject
...Yes. He doesn't want to go. Even if he fears he might... he doesn't want to leave.
What a scary thought.
"Whatever failings you had. It was Lilith's decision to answer by leaving. She's Fallen, too, the first human to Fall. Her choices led her there and one cannot imagine she would be so much higher than any other mortal soul," Alastor speculated, keeping them gently swaying. "Blaming oneself is hardly a useful tool - self flagellation is merely a distraction from pursuing what you want in the now. So, Lucifer... what do you want right now?"
no subject
"I..." He shrugged high. "Do you... ever have this sense like, you don't know how and you don't know when, but you just get this feeling that something is going to pull that tablecloth carrying all the things in life that you enjoy and everything will scatter all over the place?"
He eased closer, and instead rest his forehead against Alastor's front. "I want things like this. I want to keep living the life I have right now, in this moment, without feeling like something might be coming that'll just... try and stop it all entirely."
no subject
"Mm, that is the way it feels, isn't it?" Alastor agreed quietly. Like a tablecloth about to be swiped away. Rug pulled from beneath their feet. That's exactly how he felt, too, though he was sure he had more reason to expect it. More to fear, more tangible, and he simply couldn't cut the ties or explain the truth.
"I suppose we best be ready to scramble back to our feet if something does. You can't fall away from me so easily~"
no subject
But to be held like this, dancing like this, was a lovely salve. Ella Fitzgerald was a legend and a wonder.
"I've spent my existence spitting in the eye of everything that's tried to tell me that I can't. It just gets so tiring being creation's scapegoat sometimes. You can only laugh so often at the bile and hatred before you want to give the world an, 'Alright, buddy, it's getting old. Stop that.'"
He tipped his head up a little. "You also couldn't shake me if you tried. I don't drop that word without meaning it... and I intend to say it as much as I'd like."
no subject
The exact nature of his emotions are tough to detangle, but if nothing else, he wants to keep this - that can speak for itself, can't it? Even if he'll inevitably feel cornered and bare his teeth. Even if someday he might be forced to try and push away.
Don't give up on him if he tries.
"I've felt somewhat like this before, but... the sense of calm is new. I much prefer hearing you say those words than anyone else."
no subject
With his words, the gaze given to him warmed, the gold of his eyes softening in their glow.
"Intriguing. And how else may I be of service to guard this eye of the storm~?"
no subject
no subject
"It's alright. Your secret is safe with me."
no subject
no subject
"And what a privilege and a delight it is. I am truly fortunate."
A smirk. "...Pity we can't say the same for those that'll be entering that labyrinth later. What do you say to some seats at the top of the staircase, get a nice birds-eye view of the chaos when the time comes?"
no subject
Spying on their hapless prank victims, laughing till they nearly throw up, and then top it off with some combing through that molt? A perfect evening, if Alastor says so himself!