Mom says it's my turn with the Alastor

[sugaronthecream]

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[sugaronthecream]

"I've seen Niffty eat worse in her fits of adrenaline," Alastor replied flatly. "Whatever your body craves, I'll give it to you - in addition to your well-rounded meals."

Just as mischievously, challengingly, he leaned in closer as well. "You're bold enough to join me for lunch with Rosie, I'm certain I can get you to eat anything else."

[youknowwhothisis]

"Hmhmhm~" Oh yeah. That's the chuckle of a demon that can be trusted with this information.

"Maybe I want fudge with my pickles... and for you to share a few bites with me..."

[sugaronthecream]

"No," Alastor scowled. "I will make you pickles however you want, but I will not eat anything remotely like that."

[youknowwhothisis]

He snickered. "You hear that, kiddo? Looks like it's up to me to help you be the nightmare gourmand, mixing the most ghoulish combinations and horrifying your dear old dad..."

[sugaronthecream]

"Darling, your tastes won't get eccentric enough to appall me. You're the one that can hardly stomach one of my preferred breakfasts."

[youknowwhothisis]

"...It's an entire dead deer. Flies and all!"

[sugaronthecream]

"I don't eat the flies, that would just be silly!"

[youknowwhothisis]

"It drips all over the table and floor and makes a mess!"

[sugaronthecream]

"That's why I eat it in the bayou, obviously! Do you expect me to eat it off of the ground like an uncivilized mongrel?"

[youknowwhothisis]

"...Sweetie, if I were eating spaghetti with my hands outside, that doesn't mend the fact that I'm eating spaghetti with my hands..."

[sugaronthecream]

"I use a fork and knife, darling."

1/2

[youknowwhothisis]

"That'snotthepoint-"

2/2

[youknowwhothisis]

Nope. Delicate. He's in a delicate condition. Deep breaths. Let's think strategically.

"...The... juices... are lost that way, aren't they?" God, he's gonna make himself sick at this rate.

[sugaronthecream]

Oh, Lucifer is going to be sick if Alastor describes it.

Sounds funny.

"Sure enough, but I don't mind a bit of blood runoff - it's the visceral taste of the pure meat I crave! The stretchiness, the tearing... why, it's as much about the texture as the flavor. That rich, iron flavor. Cooking does bring out a unique flavor, it's true, but there's something primal to the taste of flesh at its rawest."

[youknowwhothisis]

"That's... that sure is somethin'."

He swallowed. That good streak that he had was slipping from his grip. He slowly let himself sink further into the water. If he needed to submerge to escape this, he sure as Hell would.

[sugaronthecream]

He had himself a little laugh, taking the lavender perfume and pouring it over Lucifer's scalp, just to be silly, just to lean into the cartoony teasing of Lucifer.

And yes, to give him a better sense to focus on, shush.

[youknowwhothisis]

His sinking stopped with the pour, and with his mouth submerged, he offered an appreciative blrrblh.

Why must you be like this? He wants to keep food IN his body. At least wait a couple more weeks before the visceral details...

[sugaronthecream]

"You'll have your revenge eventually, I'm sure," Alastor chuckled, plugging the cork back in that ritzy little bottle and tossing it aside into the towel basket. "A chance to turn my stomach when it's more vulnerable - eternity is a long time to only have one child."

[youknowwhothisis]

Lucifer froze, eyes widening a bit. W-well... yes, they did indeed talk about children plural, but it was still wild to hear. Made the heart flutter. He'd never really been in this sort of position before...

You know what? Why wait for revenge? He can't sweet-talk his way out of this!

In gratitude, Lucifer unfurled just two wings, the appendages rising from the water. As he scooped more water into his hands, cleared the lavender-scented fluid from running over his eyes, he proceeded to embrace bird by shaking his wings and shuffling water through the feathers. They scooped and rolled the bath against his body before he shook off, creating a shower of water and suds to share with his lovely, incorrigible husband.

[sugaronthecream]

Oh, Alastor looked like a drowned rat after that, his clothes especially getting completely soaked. There's an electric green crackle as the demon slammed his hands on either side of the tub, eyes dark and menacing and teeth glowing like a radio face.

"Lucifer... if you wanted me in the bath you should have said so."


Now, he can't attack Lucifer, not in good conscience. Not that Lucifer wouldn't be perfectly fine, of course! But the back of Alastor's mind, the part hyper aware that Lucifer's carrying, won't let him.


But it will let him plunge a hand into that water to touch into Lucifer's side. To tickle him - and no one will ever believe you, Lucifer.

[youknowwhothisis]

He swept his hands through his hair, smoothing the mess of it back as he cast a very passive glance his way. It was as if he hadn't noticed Alastor was there. Oops.

Even in the wake of that display, all crackles and glowing, a hand went to his mouth in mock surprise. Oh deer, when did you get there-

The hand shot into the water and the almost coquettish glance turned suspicious. But the reaction Alastor got once he made contact with his side and stroked in just such a way was something nobody would ever believe on this side either:

Lucifer squeaked before he went into uncontrolled giggles and squirmed to get away from that touch he is the KING you absolute monster N O

[sugaronthecream]

"Hahahah-- HAHAHAHAH!"

Alastor started cackling, plunging his other hand into the bath to only tickle more, going a bit wall-eyed and deranged at getting such a visceral squealing from his husband.

[youknowwhothisis]

He really should teleport away or do something, but the funny thing about being tickled is that your brain shoots sparks! Also, all you can think about is the feeling, and how to squirm yourself out of it while QUICKLY hurtling toward submission-

Water was getting thrown everywhere as he tried to get Alastor's hands off the REALLY TICKLISH AREAS, but he was making some god-awful, very undignified noises right now-

[sugaronthecream]

Eventually, eventually, Alastor ceases his onslaught and cups Lucifer's flushed cheeks in between his palms.

"I'm going to tell our little one your weakness."

[youknowwhothisis]

Once freed from the attack on his weak points for massive damage, he was flushed and short of breath. All he could do was scowl as best as he could while his face was balanced between two hands.

But the flicker across his eyes was that of deepest betrayal.

"You wouldn't."