divinetree | Mom says it's my turn with the Alastor

"Considering all the nonsense I overhear, I'm not the least bit surprised. Always scheming to see who can marry their child off and to whom, rattling on about their deadbeat husbands... I would wager that anyone with the ear for journalism who manages to get information out of these families, the drama would be thicker than any Hellanovella."

A smirk.

"I wouldn't mind seeing them sweat, all told. Perhaps you'll be my +1 the next time I get an invitation."

"Hah hah! Won't that be fun! Oh, they'll be twisting their feathers in knots thinking I have your ear," Alastor guffawed. He didn't in the way a Goetia might assume... he just appealed to Lucifer's need for a friendly little push.

His eyes lit up. "Oh. ...Oh, I have a potential game."

He looked back, smirked. "You think if I look at one of them long enough, then gesture for you to lean down to listen, make some remark, I could induce an early molt?"

"Hah hah HAH! Oh, that would have them QUIVERING! I say we have the catering to set the mood even more! Every form of poultry that one can imagine. Just innocuous enough given who your ever auspicious plus-one is! Hahahah!"

Messing with the stuffy birds sounded utterly delightful. He almost hoped one caused trouble at the party, maybe he'd be treated to a nibble.

"Perfect. You have no idea how many letters I have to pore through from practically every family head, always asking for this or for that, always some sort of favor that would increase their standing. It's all throne games over there! They could use a little extra excitement."

Oh, who knows, who knows...? He was sure there were some members that could stand to be dusted.

"Hell knows what sort of Deals they'd make! Probably for the same thing."

"Oh imagine the Deals they might make thinking they might even get your ear. Interesting. I may find a funny little source for something else useful," Alastor hummed in delight.

"Yes, I do believe I'll have to draft myself a little wishlist for what I'd want from the Goetia. Make a little game out of it."

"Hm. ...How did you figure that out, anyway, the whole... Deal-Making thing? You probably started small, just to see if it worked."

He settled in. Pardon him, but there was something about the background buzz of Alastor's voice, alongside the radio, that was innately soothing.

"There's something intuitive to it!" Alastor replied simply. He... wasn't about to talk about how he'd made Deals before his death, too. That was another matter entirely.

"Deals need not always be for souls, either. Starting small... simple agreements... there's magic in a promise."

A hum.

"Yes, there is. Have to wonder what the absolute smallest trade need be before you anger some... thing or another. The power sometimes has to come from somewhere..."

"I've made some rather insignificant Deals in my time. Most recently, getting Vagatha to promise not to involve me with the wretched television technology again," Alastor chuckled, amused at himself. He wondered when that might turn around and inconvenience her - that'd be quite funny, honestly. "All I promised in return was making a commercial."

"Oh riiight... I'd been asked to recover the base copy so it can be aired on a better time slot. Not cheap, but worth it. Drop in the bucket either way to get this- this project off the ground further."

He silently yawned. Eepy... "...Maybe Vaggie's bound to keep you from that Vix guy as a bonus. Wouldn't that be nice...?"

"That would be rather amusing. She does already make work of stabbing those obnoxious drones, though I told her not to bother. Vox is terribly obsessive and that sort of thing would only instigate him to spy on me further," Alastor rolled his eyes about it.

But, a yawn - good, good. Lucifer seemed like he was relaxing, so he could probably get some proper sleep, soon. Mission accomplished.

"Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Can't tell him to stop, can't crush his attempts to try and discourage him. Guy's really got it out for you."

A small sniffle. He was absolutely leaned against the Radio Demon's arm now.

"...'Course, there's always magnets in a pinch. Wonder what those would do on a guy like that... h e h..."

The king leaning against him derailed Alastor's thoughts, for a moment. He stared in some surprise... there was a little pleasant squeeze in his chest. Not unlike the squeeze he felt for Rosie or, once upon a time, for Vox.

Right. Remark about magnets.

"Yes, well... tragically, magnets don't work any more with him. Oh, he'd get so MAD when I disrupted his cathodes before! Now, though, his upgrades have replaced his cathode tubes and hard drives and so, he's finally immune to adorable and unsettling magnets being stuck to his head."

He snorted, tried to suppress a laugh. He was joking, and yet here's the confession that he'd absolutely used magnets on ~~Vicks~~ ~~Vlog~~ V-guy.

"Well, you can't be vague like that and then withhold important information, you understand: What is an 'adorable' and 'unsettling' magnet?"

"Cute is always easy - you find the tacky things in any child-centric toy aisle. As for unsettling... well, I have a collection I'm still growing. I really ought to start leaving them on the fridge in the kitchen, get a few good laughs," Alastor chuckled, conjuring a few wretched examples.

Fair, fair. Yet as he conjured the examples, Alastor would get the pleasure of a little jump from Lucifer.

"Oh! Those... are awful!" Yet he laughed at the absurdity. WOW, how long's it been since he's seen circus kitsch...?

"You've got to watch the others, of course, see how they open the fridge. Everyone does it in a certain way, even you. Then you've got your placement plan."

"They are truly wretched, aren't they? These aren't even the ones that make noise, either," Alastor chuckled, nay, giggled in devious delight. The fact that Lucifer was encouraging the mischief made it even better.

"Oh, precisely, the discrepancy in heights, how distracted or tired they are... where do their eyes land... having too many would be too overwhelming, too purposeful, but one or two? Oh, that would have the strongest impact."

I'm sorry, noise? Noise? Some of these terrible things make noise??

"Of course, got to hit a couple that'll give you the best responses. Can't spread too thin." And now he had to change up how he checks the fridge. Who knows if he was being watched?

"Charlie would make for a good reaction- she never goes halfway in responding to surprises- but that's no mystery. ...What about the bartender...?"

"Husk has seen my collection in full by now, alas, but it is funny how much it annoys him," Alastor chuckles. "Niffty finds them as completely delightful as I do. So I believe that leaves Charlie, Vaggie and Angel as our test targets."

Definitely needed to keep his vigilance. There was no telling when he'd start doing this, and/or if he'd use the noisy ones. Nightmare.

"Oho~ Then we have an accord, Bambi. You've got to fill me in if I ever miss them." He'll just rest his eyes a bit.

This... this was nice.

"That we do," Alastor chuckled. And with a glance at the hour, Alastor's smile broadened and he pat Lucifer's head again. "Now. Settled down enough to get some rest? We've got a busy morning tomorrow morning."

Lucifer only offers a hum in response at first. Rest sounds nice. He just might do that...

"Busy, busy, busy... busy as bees, in a pod..." Nope, that didn't make sense, but it was what-the-hell-o-clock.

Sleepy indeed! Alastor unwraps Lucifer from the blanket to fold it properly.

"Shall I walk you to your room, pal?" he asked, amused at the nonsense muttering.

The blanket lifting, reacquainting him with the ambient temperature in the room, was enough of a little dash of cool water to get him up. He had a Big Stretch and moved to shift off the couch. Alright. Alright, short walk, that can be done.

"Oh, I think I'll be alright. ...But don't you wind up staying up all night, you hear me?"

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