divinetree | "Crazy" Beauty and the "Hunter" Beast

"Crazy" Beauty and the "Hunter" Beast

Once upon a time, in a faraway land, a cruel Prince lived in a shining castle surrounded by rich hunting lands.
Although he had everything his heart desired, the Prince was paranoid, selfish, and cruel.

But then, one winter's night, an old beggar-woman came to the castle, and offered him a single rose in return for shelter from the bitter cold.

None know for sure what happened that night. Some say the Prince turned her away for her appearance, and others claim he attempted to harm her... the beggar-woman melted away her disguise to reveal a beautiful Enchantress.

As punishment for his loveless heart and vicious cruelty, the Enchantress transformed him into a hideous Beast, and placed a powerful spell on the castle, and all who lived there.

Ashamed of his monstrous form, the Beast concealed himself inside his castle, with a magic mirror as his only window to the outside world. The rose she had offered was truly an enchanted rose, which would bloom until his 30th year. If he could learn to love another, and earn their love in return, by the time the last petal fell, then the spell would be broken. If not, he would be doomed to remain a beast for all time.

As the years passed, he fell into despair, and lost all hope. For who could ever learn to love a Beast?

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"Certainly! Let's have at it, then, let's see what your twisted little mind has come up with!"

Alastor stood, offering a claw for his guest to take. Polite, manners, of course - pay little heed to the way the castle is mostly alive, and feels almost as though it's watching in dreadful anticipation.

"You won't think it's twisted when I pull this off, damn it!"

He was up like a shot. He was almost like a kid with the way he sprinted straight for the door, grabbed the handle and skittered his shoes against the floor as he tried to wrench it open.

It took him a second. Then he was gone.

Give him maybe three minutes as he went to find where his cart went, but he would be dutiful in his return, sweat dotting his brow and clutching a rolled up sheet of paper. He skidded to a stop in the parlor, but needed to pause and bring his hands to his knees and catch his breath...

"Okay... okay..." DEEP BREATH, and he stood upright.

"Gentleman! Cursed objects! I present... my current life's work!" With a flourish, he unrolled the paper over the table and gave the edges a fond pat. Covered in small eraser marks and edits were schematics of four wings and the canard around a platform for the pilot to lie in.

"Presently, I'm capable of very short glides in fair weather for as long as it can be pulled. I have control of the three axis for turns, pitch and yaw to compensate during the pulling."

He slowly paced. "I've tried sliding off the roof of my cottage three times to see about maneuvering without a pulling force, but I have since been banned from doing that any further by my daughter. ...And a bruised and battered body that laid me low for weeks from the very sloppy impact with dear old Earth."

A small cough.

Oh, that is fun! Alastor's already laughing in dreadful amusement, all grins at the schematics. He poked at the parchment with a claw, right over the canards.

"What in the world are these? I've not seen a bird with wings on its head, what good are they here?"

He paused to look where he was pointing. "The...? Oh, that's for the pitch. I don't know if you've ever been sailing, but-"

He moved his hands in a particular way to demonstrate as he explained: "There's three axes of movement: The side-to-side roll, the up-and-down pitch, and the left-to-right yaw. In my glider, I needed something to keep the whole craft from catching the wind wrong and just-"

He smacked one palm against the other.

"I thought I'd study birds in flight, but it wasn't enough- they get to flap those wings to keep themselves balanced while giving thrust, which is something I just can't seem to replicate. Trust me, I tried. Almost broke my arms testing a prototype. But, perhaps in its forward movement, if I can have something that'll slice the air and slide over it, rather than catch it and topple the whole construct.

"Thus was born what I call 'canards'."

"So this can only take off by being flung from a height, then. And if the air is still any given day, it can't gain speed, can it? Psh!"

Whether there's merit in the wing structure actually maintaining flight or not - Alastor wasn't going to share a compliment that easily. But there was genuine effort and interest, some expertise...

Well, his mother had her own little pet portrait artist, so this wasn't very different.

"And would this device be any good lifting a passenger that's not so petite as you are?"

He made a small scowl at that word. But he made no remark. This was a guy who gave him a whole LOT of money.

"It's a process! If I can get something that can lift me and do it safely then it's a matter of adjusting the surrounding parameters to be able to handle more weight."

He pointed out a spot on the schematic. "As for the issues of creating thrust, I've considered attaching the glider prototype to Gershwin via a harness. It then becomes a soft of 'rideable' kite: He pulls, we lift off. Then I developed a means to quickly detach so he's not pulling forever or in case he veers or stops suddenly, and with the canard, I can direct the glider for a safer landing."

His fingers drummed over the surface. "Ideally, I'd like a way that doesn't need the horse. Not everyone exactly has one handy. I need something that can... pull or push, independently."

"Oh, I can't wait to see those attempts! Hahah!"

Will he build a giant crossbow? Use a cannon? Fuck, all of that would be hilarious. He wouldn't float too many of his thoughts and ideas until this inventor seemed to be running dry. Wouldn't want to rush along the fun - as far as Alastor was concerned, this curse was doomed to pass its 'cure' condition, so eternity will be SUCH a dreadful bore.

"Tomorrow, I want to see this assembled. I'll have my minions assemble a nice slope for you to fling yourself and your device from in our fields!"

"...It's not flinging! It's... taking off!"

He was still alive, wasn't he? This was sounding more and more like he was gearing up for a glorious crash and burn. Lucifer supposed being cursed made the man bored to pieces.

He wouldn't be the beast's clown.

"I'll show you the full thing tomorrow! Just you wait and see."

"Oh of course! We'll see how it takes off tomorrow then," Alastor laughed, lacking even a single drop of sincerity for his new favorite artist-jester. Though he wouldn't tolerate a jester anyway - he'd tear apart anyone bold enough to expressly disrespect him.

"Now what did you make this out of? Wood and canvas?"

"...Yes. The idea is to have it made from materials that are easy to obtain. Unlike watches..." He sighed.

"I'd like to give those damn gem merchants a piece of my mind..."

Gemstones, hmm? He'll keep that in mind for any future sweetening-the-pot needed.

"Well, how quaint. And certainly makes when it crashes and falls apart far less emotionally tragic, hmm?"

"Well, yeah, I guess..." He rubbed the back of his neck.

"Just not when you're barely getting by and need to buy more wood if the rods snap or even crack. The canvas is salvageable so long as I don't need to patch it up too much. Patches add weight, and a not-too-solid stitch could add drag."

"I wouldn't know about such a thing!" Alastor laughed, shrugging and canting his head, though the creepy neck of his crackled and twisted unnaturally. "Nor should you from here on. Such woes will get in the way of our grand entertainment."

With that, he looked at that heavy bag again. He didn't even need to go to the Fair anymore if payments would keep coming like that.

"Would... there be a way to get that home, at least? I'm not sure if the paths get weird in the other direction, and I don't want my daughter to assume the worst."

"I don't know for sure. But given that we have a Deal, the magic should now work in favor of fulfilling that. Best not to allow your daughter or wife in these woods without you directly guiding them, as I don't wager the same would apply."

Hmm. He supposed he could try after his first demonstration tomorrow. Then-

The hurt flickered past his eyes. It'd been nearly ten winters, but it all was still fresh in his mind. As the village outcast, it was one of his loneliest days, comforting his daughter the very best he could while juggling laying the love of his life to rest. She'd been so sick, and he'd never felt more helpless in his life.

"Ah, yeah. ...Right! I'll- I'll keep that in mind. Er, would you- ... want... to meet Charlie? She'd probably take all this way better than I did, funny enough."

Really now? You trust him that quickly? Goodness, this man is deranged and lonely, isn't he!

But that does at least bode well... perhaps he could break this little curse of his, if he can convince the daughter to adore him. Nothing saying he had to reciprocate, right? Hmmm...

"I'll make arrangements to assure her stay is quite pleasant!"

He blinked quickly. "Er... what now? She's not- she's not staying here, it's just-"

He hitched his shoulders. "...I can't hide things from her. Explaining all of this would just get messy, and she'd wonder where money like this came from. Last thing I need is to proclaim, 'Oh yeah, crimes. Got all this from all the crimes!'"

"Oh, yes, I'm sure I've made a deal with a beastly, cursed sorcerer will bode well~! Hoh hoh!"

Silly, silly little madman.

"Still! Bring her here, if her fair heart can take it, you silly man. Far be it from me to underestimate family loyalty."

"...Well, when you explain it in those exact words, yes!!"

He brought his hands together and started to pace.

"You're... an investor who is interested in seeing my project through, come Hell or high water! Probably wants to see me break my neck. Kinda hairy. Makes weird crackling noises."

"Oh yes indeed! Why, I'm even being quite economical- hiring an artist and a Jester all in one man!"

"...S'gonna be awkward when I pull it all off. You'll have to eat your own antlers, Your Highness."

"I have before, but they lack any of the pleasure of crunching on proper bones. No marrow, no joined flesh, just a messy velvet and hollow vessels."

H u h?

"...Wwwwhy did you unironically munch on your own antl- no. You know what? Please keep that mystery." He raised his hands in surrender.

Then he went to roll up his schematic again, keep it safe from any damage.

"I'm signing out on being your 'Jester' for now. I'm gonna go check on Gershwin, and then probably work on this a little while. Try and tire myself out for shut-eye."

"I'll go hunt, then, and bring something in for dinner that's more fresh. Have your fun with your work, Lucifer," the beast chuckled, dramatically taking a cape from an uneasy coatrack nearby and flinging the coat over his massive shoulders, barely hiding away his visage as he made for the front gate to disappear into the night.

"Crazy" Beauty and the "Hunter" Beast

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