It had never been good the way some people would get heated about movies in the theater before, exactly... but that did still speak to some passion, some drive and fortitude of their characters and how they wanted to see themselves in the storytelling. The passerby commentary felt... hollow. Wanting to escape, to not think too hard, which sat as unsettlingly with her now as the movie's awkward bad writing before.
Shibusawa speaking up snapped her out of a distant wandering gaze, and she smiled up at him.
"It had good action, at least! Even though it kept undercutting any of the tension of the stakes," Hamuko hummed before turning her attention fully to Shibusawa and grinning in some amusement. "You packed away those snacks! You must've been hungry!"
Maruki watched her carefully, eyes attentive on every detail and in all honesty- he didn't even need to watch the movie really. He knew very well what the twists and the turns were- following the guideline that Maruki had constructed for full fledged media like this. A small price to pay...maybe he should allow those happy-ended tragedies atleast. The ones that were tear-jerking but fulfilling? Hm.
What a thought would that be but that would evade the definition of his world. There was no need to shed tears after all.
His expression sobers at her hum and after a beat or two of silence, his eyelids sink- rendering a certain sadness in his sleep. "Didn't like it that much, huh?"
"That's a bit silly, don't you think? There's no tension of the stakes that our world presents."
"It rings hollow, though, don't you think? It's... unrelatable," Hamuko smiled, curious how he kept defending the world. "Doesn't it drive you crazy? The idea that you might be the only person who's hurting or scared. It's less scary when you can see you're not alone."
Shibusawa shrugged. "I am scared by the virtue that I shouldn't be hurting or scared. I hate leaving my house knowing that others have it better than I ever would- I am really hoping the medication for my treatment works.
"Everyone has the cheat code to the finish line...and I am not much of a fan of pain myself."
The man chuckled at that but there was no actual joy in it. Empty eyes staring abck. "Do you sense anything wrong here aside from us? As someone who's experiencing pain like me?"
"If I find out what's going on, I'll keep you posted. I won't let us be the only two left behind," Hamuko chuckled back, a bit more genuine mirth in it, even if it was layered and burdened under the self imposed responsibility. "If everyone's still numbed, they could hurt themselves and never notice until it's gone septic, right?"
For some reason, Shibusawa doesn't look too impressed. Something else crosses in his expression...something like pity.
"You don't get tired from taking all the responsibility, huh?" he tilts his head and there's a placating smile on his face. "When a person takes on too much of it — especially when they feel like they have no other choice — they may begin to suppress their own emotional needs in favor of others'. It’s a coping mechanism. But over time, that self-suppression leads to emotional numbness. They stop feeling, not because they’re strong, but because their psyche is overburdened. And that’s incredibly painful in its own way...I suppose."
"Well, that's not wrong. Sounds like you've been through a lot of therapy, even before all of this happened, huh?" Hamuko huffed in mild amusement. "That might be true to some degree. But taking responsibility... that also can keep you from ruminating and getting into self-pitying spirals."
That actually makes him laugh, following along with her huff. He wipes one eye with a knuckle and claps his hands on the sides of his seat- proceeding to get up. Ruminating? Going into self-pitying spirals? Just little things in the past. Shibusawa looked as amused as someone hearing a joke. "Funny how you can consider things in different ways while I am sure I don't see anyone else falling into the same trap like us."
"How about we continue this conversation as we commute? Our booking for the penguin exhibit is in...an hour or so and getting itself will take thirty minutes."
Maruki turns, befuddling a little as he realizes the mess they have made and grabs some of the wrappers. "Why, Arisato-san- you just said I am mentally not well which is why I've been through therapy. Isn't that a little amusing?"
"And considering everything...doesn't seem like I will be getting better anytime soon. Therapy is too inefficient," he shrugs. Maruki knows exactly what kind of individual Shibusawa needs to be. It's someone who can't heal. Someone who can't tackle their own hardships.
"Okay I will stop playing with you," he waves his hand and grabs the popcorn bucket from Hamuko's hand. He can handle taking care of the trash- no worries. With that, he turned and siddled his way to descend down the dark stairs. "I studied pyschology though now I am just a meagre middle school science teacher."
He loved working at Shujin Academy. It was endearing and frankly speaking...life changing. He met so many wonderful people and learnt so much about their struggles- even if they don't remember him now. Remember the memories attached to him. Why would they..? They don't have any worries or struggles to vent about. The big picture was beautiful.
The big picture was beautiful. The third-year students had already graduated, and Maruki had helped many of them get into the colleges of their dreams. Yusuke and Futaba would soon be transferring into Shujin Academy—the whole gang would be together.
He smiled, looking ahead as his glasses caught the overhead lights, though in truth, he was looking beyond. At his beautiful artwork. At the giggling, happy people spilling out of the cinema hall. He closed his eyes.
"The hard work makes it worth it."
Shibusawa wouldn't say that.
"The pay makes it worth it," he smirked. "I have heard it's worse in high school. They are somehow even louder." Lie after lie. He rolled his eyes at the blatant complaining.
And just like that, they had made their way out of the exit and to the meandering passageways again.
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Shibusawa speaking up snapped her out of a distant wandering gaze, and she smiled up at him.
"It had good action, at least! Even though it kept undercutting any of the tension of the stakes," Hamuko hummed before turning her attention fully to Shibusawa and grinning in some amusement. "You packed away those snacks! You must've been hungry!"
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What a thought would that be but that would evade the definition of his world. There was no need to shed tears after all.
His expression sobers at her hum and after a beat or two of silence, his eyelids sink- rendering a certain sadness in his sleep. "Didn't like it that much, huh?"
"That's a bit silly, don't you think? There's no tension of the stakes that our world presents."
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"Everyone has the cheat code to the finish line...and I am not much of a fan of pain myself."
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"You don't get tired from taking all the responsibility, huh?" he tilts his head and there's a placating smile on his face. "When a person takes on too much of it — especially when they feel like they have no other choice — they may begin to suppress their own emotional needs in favor of others'. It’s a coping mechanism. But over time, that self-suppression leads to emotional numbness. They stop feeling, not because they’re strong, but because their psyche is overburdened. And that’s incredibly painful in its own way...I suppose."
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That actually makes him laugh, following along with her huff. He wipes one eye with a knuckle and claps his hands on the sides of his seat- proceeding to get up. Ruminating? Going into self-pitying spirals? Just little things in the past. Shibusawa looked as amused as someone hearing a joke. "Funny how you can consider things in different ways while I am sure I don't see anyone else falling into the same trap like us."
"How about we continue this conversation as we commute? Our booking for the penguin exhibit is in...an hour or so and getting itself will take thirty minutes."
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"What's so funny, huh?" she asked, getting up and collecting their trash into the empty popcorn bucket.
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"And considering everything...doesn't seem like I will be getting better anytime soon. Therapy is too inefficient," he shrugs. Maruki knows exactly what kind of individual Shibusawa needs to be. It's someone who can't heal. Someone who can't tackle their own hardships.
"Okay I will stop playing with you," he waves his hand and grabs the popcorn bucket from Hamuko's hand. He can handle taking care of the trash- no worries. With that, he turned and siddled his way to descend down the dark stairs. "I studied pyschology though now I am just a meagre middle school science teacher."
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"Kids are fun. It must be nice, working in a place full of them, even if it's hard work."
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The big picture was beautiful.
The big picture was beautiful. The third-year students had already graduated, and Maruki had helped many of them get into the colleges of their dreams. Yusuke and Futaba would soon be transferring into Shujin Academy—the whole gang would be together.
He smiled, looking ahead as his glasses caught the overhead lights, though in truth, he was looking beyond. At his beautiful artwork. At the giggling, happy people spilling out of the cinema hall. He closed his eyes.
"The hard work makes it worth it."Shibusawa wouldn't say that.
"The pay makes it worth it," he smirked. "I have heard it's worse in high school. They are somehow even louder." Lie after lie. He rolled his eyes at the blatant complaining.
And just like that, they had made their way out of the exit and to the meandering passageways again.