It's not that complicated, no matter what they say

[sugaronthecream]

Comments

[trust_us_with_your]

"Fucking finger painting? Last I checked, the Sinners checking in are significantly older than five." He crossed the room and occupied a seat next to him. He always had a means of sitting like he was in a lounge, one ankle propped against the knee and an elbow draped off the chair back.

The question had him give a proud chuff. "Never a dull day! Gotta start plans for the next Overlord expo, even if that's months out. Got a nice stack of applicants to look over, see who's worth a damn to show off their projects on the big stage, that whole thing. Some think they can show me anything shark related and I'll fork over the cash..."

[sugaronthecream]

"Pfft. You are incredibly easy," Alastor snorted, far too amused as he shot a brief glance up from his notes.

Looks as though the Hotel has a round of repairs to be done - it seems like a lot, but at least with a new building it's significantly less than before. Alas, you'll always get some ruffian who breaks their toilet after a night of far too many drinks.

"You reek of smoke."

[trust_us_with_your]

He blinked at him. "Smoke? Whadda you-"

He lowered both feet to the floor as he sat up, and he grasped his lapels to pull them closer to his face for a little sniff. "I had like one cigarette last night, what the fuck--??"

[sugaronthecream]

"Yes, and I can smell it on you," Alastor hummed judgmentally, tone accusatory. "We don't know how mortal the little one will be - curb the habit."

Hmm. Apparently despite feeling like he was in an alright mood, Alastor had been raring for an argument of some stripe.

[trust_us_with_your]

He released the lapels and scowled as he slowly turned his head. "Oh, okay- since we're going to discuss habits to curb..."

He leaned an elbow on Alastor's armrest and narrowed his eyes. "...I know for a fact you still chew on a number of bodies that are way past their prime. Fly-blown, even. Why don't we have a chat about that?"

[sugaronthecream]

"Oh, come now-- I've been cooking all of my meat! Why, I've had Niffty dear simmer down Sinners to help me stock up on bone broth! Hahahah!"

That. Is definitely not a denial about how rank some of the bodies he eats are, though.

[trust_us_with_your]

He retrieved his phone with one hand.

"...Then I suppose if I give anybody at the Hotel a call, they'll all corroborate the claim, dear? I hear the little firecracker with the spear is just refreshingly honest..."

[sugaronthecream]

Humph.

"Do it, then. Go right ahead and ask what Alastor the Radio Demon had for lunch - and hope you don't sound like the stalker that you are!"

[trust_us_with_your]

His eyes narrowed slightly, a wordless 'watch me' as he did a bit of tapping and scrolling. How did he know any of their contact info, you ask...? How would he NOT know?

He knows everyone's information. Let's try the little grouchy lady that's practically glued to the princess. She'd happily rat Alastor out.

Could he call using his head? Sure. But it meant he couldn't smirk and rub the truth in the deer's face when he was proven 100% correct.

[xxorcist]

Whaaat... is this phone number. Who got her personal phone number...? Damn it, maybe it was someone scraping it off of her email - she knew she shouldn't have signed up for that streaming service.

"Heeeello?" she answered the phone tentatively, just in case it was a new number for one of the guests.

[trust_us_with_your]

Holy shit she picked up!! Alastor you are so FUCKED-

"Heeeeyy!! Vox here, CEO of VoxTek Enterprises, how's it going?"

Not even a pause. "Look, I'm not going to hold you up for long and wanted to ask for a little confirmation on a certain hotel host's eating habits...!"

[xxorcist]

"Vox? Whaaaaat..."

Hotel host's... eating habits? ...Holy shit.

"Ooookay, this whole... stalking thing is getting out of hand. You know he hates you, right?"

[trust_us_with_your]

An eyelid twitched with 'hate'. But the smile tightened.

"Of course! I've just been working on a little something and needed confirmation. He still eats long-dead gross shit, right?"

[xxorcist]

"Okay, I really wouldn't recommend finding road kill to offer as a date, even for Alastor. That's... really desperate."

[trust_us_with_your]

His face brightened, and he briefly spluttered.

"Wh- that's not what this is about- I'm trying to win a fucking BET, here!! It's a 'yes' or 'no' question!"

[xxorcist]

"A bet."

Ugh. Why... are Overlords like this. What is this petty weirdness??

"Yeaah, I'm gonna hang up now. Call back when you're... actually serious about the Hotel or something, I don't know."

[trust_us_with_your]

"IT'S A YES OR NO QUESTION! Does he or does he not eat gross overly-rotted animal corpses or people? He's not SHY about it and never was back in the day! I-"

[xxorcist]

"I'm literally not his mom, I don't watch him every five seconds-- okay, come on, you really need to get a life. Afterlife. Whatever. This is WAAAAAY creepy even for an Overlord."

[trust_us_with_your]

He sparked. An eyelid twitched again. Vox gestured wildly to Alastor before he hissed, "Tell her you're here so she stops thinking I've gone off the fucking DEEP END??"

[sugaronthecream]

[trust_us_with_your]

[xxorcist]

"....Yeah. Okay, anyway. Get help? Get help. Go to therapy. You'll feel better."

She's gonna hang up, now.

[trust_us_with_your]

fuck his life.

[sugaronthecream]

Oh, he heard that other line click.

"Hah... hah, hahahah, hahahahahaaaaah!"

[trust_us_with_your]

More sparks. Glitching. The hand upon the arm rest tightened enough that metallic claws delved into the material as he jammed the phone into his coat pocket with the other.

"Wh-h-hy a-are your a-sso-ssociates so-o FRUS-RUSTRATING!?"