divinetree | It's not that complicated, no matter what they say

"Well, aren't you two cute?" Rosie snickered as she reentered the front of the emporium, holding a bassinet filled with all sorts of goodies. Alastor pouted at her, and Rosie promptly ignored it, bringing the basket and clearing part of the tea table, setting it down.

"Swaddling blankets, some good sturdy diapers, a thermometer, a little bundle of medicines and stuff for their first colds, some stretch cream for you Al - hold on right theeere..." Rosie held up a finger before going to one of her emporium counters, pulling a bottle of gin off of the shelf and magic-ing up a bundled package that smelled quite similar to the roast that Alastor had already eaten. "And there you go! Gin for the proud dad-to-be and some more protein. Now Vox - don't you go breaking hearts all over again! And Alastor, don't be difficult, you know men aren't good at reading into things!"

His attention turned to the flick of the ear and his eyes warmed. That's not something he sees often, even back in the day. But it's the giggle that sends him straight back a good sixty years. ...Enough that the way he joined in the laugh and shrugged a shoulder, wore a lopsided smile, he may as well have had that old CRT on his shoulders again.

Then it all shattered. Startled, Vox turned a brighter shade of blue and grabbed both sides of the seat of his chair, hopped a couple feet further away in one shift and hastily busied his hands with smoothing down his coat.

He focused on the bassinet and goodies instead. "...Ssshit, that's one hell of a care package..."

Wait, breaking hearts, what did she mean? What did Al--

Double wait- was he being called... called stupid-- what the fuck WAS today?? Can he get off this ride?

Rosie chuckled at Vox, giving him a pat on the head - hah, so funny to pat a modern monitor...!

"Lookin' forward to working with you, dear - look after my pet for me, will ya? He's ornery, but he's dedicated. Same will probably go for the little one - come talk to old Rosie if you need something, hmm?"

Alastor, after being mildly miffed at Vox jumping SO far back away from him, rolled his eyes and stood up to take the basket. Rosie didn't bother scolding him - if Vox was a good man, he'd start the fight and insist on carrying the goods.

"That's about it for today! Take care, be discreet going back home~"

He was too numbed to respond much to the pat, his antennae even giving a little bob. Charming! Too good for this moron.

"Uh-... yes, of course! And thank you... for the gifts." He cleared his throat, then stood. The movement would forcibly quench the smoldering coals in his gut over the word 'pet'.

He'll get that figured out. He's got plans. But right now, he just--

"Aha- Nonono-" He swooped in and cradled the basket in his arms. "No dice on the lifting, remember...?"

A cable reached out to get the door as he turned and tipped his hat.

Let's get the HELL out of here.

Alastor's ears pinned, and he grumbled - both at Vox's fussing and at Rosie's amused, knowing smile. Ugh... at the very least, it frees Alastor's hands to retrieve the overcoat he had been using to disguise his figure. Good this happened before much longer...

Agreed. Let's go.

"Toodle-oo, Rosie, my dear - I'll write a letter or two," Alastor bowed just a bit, a formality, and got a curtsy and a little wave in return. They could safely leave Cannibal Town, once Alastor draped one of the innocuous white blankets over the bassinet to disguise it as well. The cannibals in town seem to delightedly wave at Alastor, the ladies charmed by him even as he seemed grouchy - except for Susan, who bitched at him as the two men passed "Boooo, who's that tacky asshole walkin' in here? We don't need TWO chatty media jerks! Booooo! And you're getting fat, Alastor! Boooo!"

Ignore her.

Alastor's not surprised that the limo for the Vees is RIGHT outside of town, and he's grateful... he'll get right into the car, sitting next to Velvette.

The blanket was a fantastic idea. The overcoat was also smart, even if it was getting harder to hide him... but- but that was fine, he had his back-up plans upon back-up plans. It was quite handy, in fact, having his left eye...

In fact, he was tempted when those first ladies waved, a giggle making him quietly huff under his breath. They could wave. Alastor could have all the friends he could ever want. But Vox had to be on the lookout for gossips...

His spine went rigid when some weird old woman was standing by and waving her cane. Tacky? TACKY!? This outfit was one of Velvette's best yet! Who the fuck did she think--

Vox's eyelid twitched when he turned his head to regard Alastor.

I can make it look like an accident. You know I'm good for it...

But it felt like he'd been holding his breath, for when they finally climbed into the car, Vox felt like he could breathe again. He set the covered basket aside as the doors were closed, and he knocked on the window separating the passenger's cabin and the driver's row as he settled in next to Valentino. Let's go home.

"Before anyone asks, we're both fine. That was... weirdly pleasant. But considering how she is during the overlord meetings, I shouldn't be too shocked."

"It would have been much more of a fight if we hadn't already made arrangements," Alastor grumbled, sinking against the seat and running his hands through his hair, scratching at it to alleviate the tension and frustration. "She may not have been interested finding out this way, but if I hadn't done that first, then it'd have been on the table and she would have considered--"

"Hol' up," Velvette interjected, giving Alastor a slight elbowing. He didn't seem to mind, lowering his hands from his hair to look at her. "Are you and Rosie friends or not? This whole thing has been sketch as fuck."

"We're in Hell, my dear, and we're demons. Nothing is as it seems on face value, and rarely is it what you see when you scratch the surface," Alastor huffed, leaning back and touching his middle as the vehicle pulled onto the road properly and started their drive. "...But, yes. It went well. Rosie is... dangerous, deadly, but that isn't all that she is."

"Would've loved a fight, if I'm honest. But this coat- this REALLY fuckin' swanky coat, by the way- gets to be clean another day. Val, Vel? ...Thanks for... y'know. Stickin' around."

But he furrowed a brow at Alastor.

"Speaking of dangerous and deadly, however... Al, what the fuck?! You could have tried to talk me out of the weird soup! I had spoons of it and it was... ohgod..." He sank back in his seat.

"I can't even begin to describe that eyeball soup..."

"Eww!" Valentino cringed, practically clutching his pearls - Velvette frowned, but was much more unimpressed. Alastor just chuckled.

"And all I had to do was dare you not to sputter, and you ate several bites without fuss! Got a bit green. You're quite lucky that Rosie is a talented cook - there's actually something to appreciate in how gelatinous and unctuous it is."

"Fucking 'unctuous'? Calm down, Julia Child."

"I wondered if you'd have been adventurous to bite into the garnish eyes, too! They pop like grapes when cooked right--"

"EWWWWW, stoooop, I'm gonna throw up. That's gross, like, I can KINDA get eating meat 'cause it's meat but eww. Yuck. Yuck, ciervo," Valentino dramatically objected, getting a fond laugh out of Alastor.

"Waste not, want not!"

Edited 2026-01-11 06:35 (UTC)

Vox groaned again, and quickly fished into his coat pocket for a favored and well-used flask. After screwing off the top, he took a big pull from its contents, if anything to 'settle down' his stomach with a big punch of liquor and wash out the... unctuousness.

The gin will just be for another occasion. He'd probably have vomited before he got the cork out, anyway.

"You're looking at a guy who was forced to eat liver dishes growing up," he replied, voice momentarily raw from the drink, slightly husky. What the fuck did he keep in that flask-

"But I draw the line at eyeballs." He ran the back of his hand against a corner of his mouth.

"I'm ordering out tonight, because I more than earned the sloppiest smash burger after that."

Alastor guffawed at their reactions, tickled pink by the disgust. Velvette rolled her eyes, swiping to another app on her phone.

"The same fuckin' diner AGAIN - Al, I assume you don't want some greaseball, I'll order you something."

"Hahah! No need, my dear - I'll cook for myself. I admit, the eyeballs aren't really my favorite either. I've been having an itch for gumbo, now that I've gotten the right sausages in my fridge," Alastor chuckled. The andouille sausage that Vox had been so gracious to fetch for him was calling his name...! "I'll have plenty if you'd rather try some, dear."

"Oooh, I wanna try. Ciervo can cook, huh~? What a pretty little housewife you make."

"Oh, posh, I just know what I learned from Maman."

Something in his stomach twisted just then as the others spoke, enough to bring Vox to a rather rare quiet. The little whine in his heart of, Wait, I want some, too... dissolved into what became a little drift somewhere far outside of his own body. A skip.

Alastor was laughing. Velvette sat close, but it didn't bother him (that much). Valentino leaned with interest, no ounce of anger in him, and the cabin of the limo was suddenly filled with something that slowly buzzed up Vox's antennae.

These three demons, a fourth (or more) on the way, were the only ones that the creature that was once Vincent Whittman could ever give even half a shit about. Everyone, all in this enclosed space of highly reinforced steel. Safe. ...Thanks to him, of course.

...

Vox shook his head a little. That was a weird feeling just then. He crossed one leg over the other and bobbed the end of his aloft foot, a force of habit when he was deep in thought or on edge.

"Yeah, he uh... cooks like an absolute beast," he added absently.

Then he pulled from the flask again.

If Valentino or Velvette noticed, they didn't make any indication - not like Alastor, who spotted it immediately and acted just as quickly to recapture Vox's attention.

"Certainly better than you do, mister kitchen fire! Astonishing that you had the gall to host a cooking show, hahah!"

It got a snort of amusement from Velvette, a Look from Valentino - but all that mattered to Alastor was making sure the competitive edge grabbed the picturebox by the antennae.

"Why, I'll even let you have a little for managing not to make a scene or getting yourself strangled into a worse Deal!"

"Oh, shit, Vox is in a Deal now?"

"Oh, plenty of them - but in this case, he gets to be the hotelier for the Hazbin Hotel in my absence."

"UGH-- Voxxy, make sure you get Angel's lazy ASS out of there and into the studio when he's being a giant baby about it!"

"Ah-ah-ah! Charlie's whims come first. Hah! Have fun with that."

He startled, and his expression flattened as he twisted the flask's top closed.

"Fuck off- it was the 50's! We were coming off of rationing in World War 2, and convenience was key. The recipes were easy... for... for the people at home who were finally free of the shackles of rationing, okay? My show did real numbers!" Seriously. You can look them up. Hell, he had them stored in his personal files, jackasses!

Ah, there it was- a topic he didn't exactly want to get into right now. Not in the car, anyway... the bobbing stopped and he sighed.

"Look- I'll take Angel Dust's work-life balance into account," he noted gently, and patted Valentino's arm.

"But it's true: Al's on something of a souped-up maternity leave, and the Hotel will simply flounder without him. So, I'm going in to pick up the slack. BUT!" Let's not have any arguments now, hold on-

"That's actually something I had plans for anyway, so this still lines up. I think the redemption thing is complete bullshit, but having connections to the likes of the Morningstars comes with a wealth of perks we can all benefit from." He tucked the flask away and steepled his claws with a distinct, metallic shink.

"I need some time in my office to put together the schematics and a few slides. Next meeting, I'll go over the specifics."

His eyes turned to Alastor.

"That includes you, considering you're essentially a Vee now..."

A brow quirked. "Or would that make us the A-Vees? Rolls off the tongue, but we can workshop it."

Alastor's ears perked up, matching the questioning quirk of a brow. Say what now?

"I'm not part of your little Overlord team," he corrected. With the statement drawing eyes to him, he dropped his ears again, almost reflexively moving his hands to hold his middle protectively. "I may be pregnant, and... raising a child with you, Vox. But that doesn't make me a part of your team."

"Wow, stick up the arse, much? What's the difference?"

"My dear, it's all of the difference - matters of raising the child are deferring to Vox, but I will not surrender my name and reputation to be a part of another person's machinations," he grumbled, fingers tightening over his coat to keep from fidgeting and giving his tell away.

He'd replied so quickly that, just for a second, Vox's expression fell. But upon a quick refresh, he was all professionalism once again. He smoothed down his coat.

"...Whatever the case, I do have plans that concern you, and you would benefit from hearing them." He'll have worked so hard on his drawings and slides, and it'd be a waste not to have them seen.

His foot bobbed anew.

"Anyway, part of Rosie's end of the Deal is secrecy surrounding the baby, so our immediate concern is to make sure the circle of people who know about Alastor's condition doesn't get any bigger. You've all been pretty damn good about it so far, and I appreciate it. I understand it's not easy."

He opened his arms a bit and looked between the others. "Do any of us know anyone else who tends to be nosy as fuck that we should all know about?"

A beat. Let's see... Husk and Niffty were accounted for.

...Oh god.

"I know Mimzy hasn't been seen a while, needing a favor from you. Will our luck run out there?" He sees where your hands are, Al. He's shifting the topic a bit.

"I had to tell her to not bring her troubles to the Hotel and only bother returning should it be to give redemption a shot - I'm afraid I haven't heard from her since," Alastor glowered a bit darker. "But I know the woman, and she has no intentions of changing herself or how she uses others."

...Wow. That's a marked difference from how Alastor used to talk about Mimzy, who seemed to be able to do little to nothing wrong if you'd asked Alastor back in the day.

"Just kill whatever useless chaff are orbiting her and send her on her way - she'll shush up and be incurious as ever."

That caught him by surprise. Every visit was a hug, so much chatter as Mimzy obnoxiously orbited Al and chattered on about this and about that. He wouldn't forget the remarks the woman sent his way, or the way he felt the need to slip a rope around her neck. Being friends with Alastor was about the last thing that kept her alive, clearly.

But... were they not, anymore? Ah, not NOT enough to spare her some wrath. Vox spluttered a laugh with the instruction. Oh, he knew about what happened that day when Mimzy visited- Angel Dust told him SO much~

"HAHAHA! Don't need to tell me twice! Oh, what a time it'll be to be able to cut loose...!! It was mobsters a couple of times, right? Like the actual Greed mob? Hilarious! Or was it that one casino that she ran up a debt with? I forget the order, but I remember the mess that was left of them...!"

"Yes, well. A bunch of loan shark Sinners - the sort of sad saps who were so unremarkable in life that their forms in death are indistinguishable. They taste more sulfuric than the hellborn from Greed, those sharks taste outright muddy and toxic," Alastor grouched, ears pinning. Velvette and Valentino shot each other looks - who knew the Radio Demon would be so bitchy about a falling out, after how shitty he'd treated Vox...?

"The point is, so long as you solve her problem, she won't care to look into where I am. No need to worry about her."

He felt a pang, his second in a row, now. Alastor was definitely pissed with the flapper girl. They seemed close. He seemed to always clean up her messes, and Vox was now charged with doing it if she comes sniffing around. But... why didn't...? Even if the truth of his leash with Rosie was known to him, still, he... didn't have regrets, did he? She'd broken their trust and he was sore about it, yet would still bail her out of a jam.

But a joke about the A-Vees was shot down, covered in gasoline, and given a lit cigarette with no hesitation.

Don't you go breaking hearts all over again!

...But what about mine...?

Vox chuckled and leaned back, arms crossed behind his head. Unbothered. "Duly noted. Then I guess that's that!"

He glanced between Velvette and Valentino, not desperate for anything else to focus on. "Any trouble around the car while we were gone?"

Attention off of the topic and off of him, Alastor relaxed again as Velvette shrugged and Valentino started whining.

"Ugh!! Those WEIRDOS just kept coming over and STARING. They can't see through the tinted windows, but it was like they knew exactly where to look - especially the creepy little kid ones!"

"They're curious. Modern, flashily dressed people and vehicles by default have the okay from Rosie to mark as prey - they were waiting to see if you all stepped over the line," Alastor explained plainly. "A cannibal's hunger and taste for new flavor palates is never-ending, after all. You were at least clever enough to stay in your little car."

"Oh, fuck off with the attitude, discount buck - you PICKED living in the tower so don't be an ungrateful little bitch about it," Velvette scolded, earning a placating gesture from Alastor of holding his hands up in surrender.

"Yes, yes, where are my manners? Forgive me, my dear."

"GOD you are just as shitty and insincere as Vox's half-assed apologies. We could always dump you right back out in that town if you want it so much."

"No, that won't be necessary! It may be quite a safe place to go into hiding, sure... but for the little one's sake, should something go awry, I believe I'd rather have a medical intervention that doesn't involve a chainsaw."

He leaned his head back and focused on the ceiling. Velvette was definitely concerned, so he wouldn't fight any dressing down she wanted to do on Alastor. Still, it was a relief to know that other than creepy child staring, there wasn't so much as a scuff on the other Vees nor the car. Not that they could get in, anyway...

Vox couldn't help the wandering mind, though. He couldn't help the growing urge to find his mini-bar and round out the way working on his slides and waiting for intoxication to bring him some sleep for the fatigue that crept into him after all of the fretting he'd been doing. Fuck... he needed to finalize an agenda and a pitch for the princess for monday, too. Ethan could handle all the phone calls...

"The concerning thing is- I can't even tell if you're full of shit or if they're really that antiquated." He raised his head again and went for his phone, shot a few messages out. One to Angel, three to Ethan. Ah, the sweet cocoon of work. Meanwhile, Al can have his extra long bath and get off his hooves a bit.

Edited 2026-01-11 21:18 (UTC)

"Come now, you know my punchlines are much more artfully crafted than that! There are a lot of pleasant benefits to a more antiquated location, such as avoiding over-stimulation or excess vulgarities... but I will grant modernity its advancements in the medical field. If nothing else, it's a deciding factor in the health of the child."

"Yeah, probably has nooothing to do with getting painkillers."

"Well! It isn't completely irrelevant. Besides - while the cannibals are decent enough company, present company is more important to me, given you will be involved in raising the child."

"I think you're just too used to being a boring old man, ciervo~. There's plenty of relaxation and relief to be had with us. Trust us~" Valentino purred, getting a slight roll of the eyes from Alastor.

"I suppose thus far you are all doing a decent job of earning something like trust, yes."

His grip tightened briefly, enough that the case to his phone formed a fresh, silvery line crack across the back.

"You left without a fucking word." He didn't shout, but when he lifted his gaze from the screen, his left eye was swirling.

"Just an invitation from Rosie, like I'm coming down for tea. You're not stupid, Al- you know how many ways this whole day could have gone! How many times have scenarios just like these wind up with the missing person in fucking P͍̮̌̓ͤ̊̉I͉̰͒͌̆͞EC͇̝E͖͕̜ͪ̑ͦS̖̰̉̾̀!̈́͋̑?̟ͯͥ I went in expecting the worst. I went in expecting a fight, or some fucked-up negotiation for whatever was possibly left of YOU and the kid!"

Cables snaked out, slithering across the floor. Interior lights of the vehicle began to flicker.

"I have no problem playing House with the princess under a fucking contract," he hissed. "And I also have no problem with what wound up happening, even eating that disgusting fucking soup..."

But the venom rose as electricity rolled down his body. "But what I do have a problem with is how, even away from that town and in this car now, you still feel the need to bullshit us, like what happened wasn't a huge and very risky meeting! 'More important to you'... 'earning something like trust'... just... FUCK. YOU."

He flexed his claws before him. "I͢͠ W͊ͤA̧̡̩̎̾̏̓S̀ Ẇ͢Ǫ̷͍̣̌́͐R͈ͣR̺̼͐̍͡I̧͎E̱̝̐D̴̥̋ S̮ͭͫIC̭̝͖̀͘Ǩ͍ͦ A͇͓̓ͯB̷͚̠̿͛̚͢O̸̜̞UT̬͝ Ỵ̫̇̓O̧̘̬̾ͮ̈́͐Ù̒͑͡!̆"

He sucked in a breath, and clutched his head. "-WE! ...WE were worried sick, and you... you couldn't, just for one fucking MINUTE, just...!"

It was enough to stun Alastor silent, for a moment, save for the noise of feedback and a slight bugle - the demon bristled, and only bristled more when Velvette snapped a few times to back up Vox. Go off.

Thousands of arguments burned in Alastor's chest, fighting to erupt like the flashover of a house fire. Of fucking course he knew things were dangerous, of course he had been scared witless, himself...!! Why else would he have done... anything he's done so far? Made that Deal, made these arrangements, sacrifice dignity and respect--??

Angrily, he rose from his seat and practically prowled to Vox - both Velvette and Valentino bolted upright themselves in anticipation of breaking up a fight, but Alastor wasn't starting one - he just caged Vox in between his arms, gripping the seat behind the television demon with his claws tight enough to slice through expensive leather.

"R̙̈ͥ͋̑e̫̟͎ͣͩͦa̲͋d be̯ͩ̈́t͇̪̪̳ͦͧw̲̠̪ͪeen ̎ṫ̬̙̦͊h̙̰ͬ̿̉eͬͫ lin̜̿͊ȅ̲̹̇̓̎s̯̪ͥͅ, yo̻ǘ̫͇̋̇ ID͖͔͖͓́̂̽İ̗̻̾͂OT͗ͩ.͔͔͎̫̹ͤ͆̋̚"

I was worried sick about you!

You stupid... arrogant, pompous asshole...!

"I chose Y͎̗͈̭O͕̤̾̋̍ͩU̱̱̪ͯ́̋͂̚̚.̳̙͇̍̌̓ͪͫ̇̓̃"

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