divinetree | It's not that complicated, no matter what they say

"Swanky!! ...I'll let Velvette know. She's the one to turn to for something as good as this. You play your cards right, I can set you up with an appointment; put you in something that'll make the princess' socks fly off, huh?" For the laugh, you know? It's not often he gets a good laugh.

"I don't have a mad cackle, though. So judgmental."

"Yeeaaaaah, no, you and Alastor both have the quintessential 'mwahahaha'," Vaggie snorted a bit, amused. He couldn't be more villain-coded if he tried--

Nah, then again, he could have a big old trench coat with a high collar. ...TV-headed dracula... pfft...

"You're definitely not as committed to the bit as Alastor, though."

He'd be a sexy Dracula and you just don't see the vision, lady.

The rest made Vox stop, turn his head before the rest of his body followed.

"Pause. ...Excuse me??"

GUH. That sort of creepy thing never stopped making her flinch - even if Vox's neck didn't make that godawful sound Alastor's did.

"What?"

"The bit!? I've got a better laugh! Not to MENTION my jacket isn't a ratty mess, for starters...!"

Wwwwwwow.

Vaggie grins, in lieu of snickering at him - preeeeetty insecure, huh? You are such a weirdo.

"I mean... the raggedy coat does kind of give 'dangerous and willing to fight'. Like, actually battle-hardened. Plus, the whole eating raw meat thing. I'm pretty sure it's hard to top that kind of intimidation factor."

"Please. I'll pass on the tapeworms." He scoffed.

"And wouldn't having a pristine coat point to being an effective villain? Wouldn't a threat dressed their best, not a hair out of place, be more threatening than someone who could use a tailor? It screams, 'Oh, shit- I probably can't even put a wrinkle on his shirt!'"

Vaggie waggled her hand in a so-so gesture.

"Ehhh... it has more of a whole 'I pay other people to die for me' vibe. Less intimidating, more infuriating from the other side," she shrugged, just picturing the difference between Vox or Alastor if they were out on the battlefield.

...Hmm.

"On the bright side, you are a lot better at seeming personable than he is."

"There's the occasional perk to having others do the deed for you, but then you miss the satisfaction..." He sighed wistfully. What? He could talk about these things. Little Miss Fallen Angel had plenty of blood on her hands, too.

Oh, but he BEAMED, enough to have himself a short laugh. "Of course I am! I'm the face! A household name...! Now, imagine what I can do for this place, huh...? One little endorsement, and the fence-sitters will some rushing in."

"Hmmm. At least until you do something that alienates people. Or have a reputation that makes the association with our Hotel seem suspicious.. like... exploitative worker practices. Or abuse. Or murder over territory. Things like that."

She's still HIGHLY suspicious - you're an Overlord, you won't trick her!!

"Whatever you're fighting for better be worth staying on the straight and narrow for."

"Hahaaaah, it's worth more than you'll ever know, sweetheart."

He cleared his throat. "Either way- the new TV should be all set up, the layout of the place seems pretty straightforward. ...Now, uh- what does Dear ol' Daddy do around here? Any tasks I should be aware of, not horn in on his job?"

"Lucifer, you mean? Well... he's mostly been here to support Charlie, so he's called himself a 'pinch hitter'. Rebuilt the hotel with us from the bottom up after the fight with Adam, sometimes joins in on rebuilding stuff that gets busted. Offers advice. Makes stuff that the guests need, actually - that's usually what he's doing lately."

Though there definitely was a lot of duck-making in his room. Or disappearing for king stuff. Probably.

He waited for more, but that's... okay, that was it, huh?

"But he draws the line at toilets, I presume," noted with a smirk. "You figure he could just wave the apple stick and unclog whatever's going on, right? Or does he figure it 'builds character', or whatever other old 'dadisms' exist...?"

A little snort of a laugh, just a breath of one--

"Weeeell, almost. Charlie eventually did him in with the puppy eyes and 'please help me out' - I guess good dads can't really resist that. Then he grabbed the bowl, stretched it wide like it was made of silly-putty and stuck his whole arm in, griping and going 'eww eww eww' the whole time."

Wild, what fatherly devotion can do, huh?

"I usually just grab the wrench and take the whole toilet off - I've gotten pretty fast at it, I just don't usually have time when I'm making the run on the guests' requests."

Vox made a face. "His arm!? Pal, we've got TOOLS for digging into the U-bend, what the fuck!?"

...But what good dads do, huh...? Would he be the type to cave to some puppy eyes? Pfft. Yeah, right.

Well.

Maybe a little.

He doesn't want to be a hard ass like his dad was, but he didn't want to be a pushover like his mother...

But he quietly added notes after his outburst. General upkeep, tracking inventory, hire float staff??

"Don't worry, everyone gets their own unique 'what the fuck, guys' story with the drugs," Vaggie assured. "My favorite so far was someone being SO sure we didn't check our cleaning supplies and tried hiding cocaine in a dishwashing detergent container."

"Now I know you're fucking with me."

"That's what I said."

SIGH. Added note: Check cleaning supplies regularly.

He paused, circled it thrice.

"Alright, level with me: Who's the biggest pain in the ass I should look out for when it comes to things like this?"

"Hmm," Vaggie paused in thought, considering it. "In terms of frequency... Sidewinder, now that Angel's gotten way better. In terms of absolutely batshit ways to hide it... probably Devon."

Sidewinder Devon

"Mhm. Last incident of Devon and Sidewinder's stashes being found...?"

"Devon was three weeks ago, he tried stashing them in the hanging lights in the lobby," she shook her head a bit - those ceilings were incredibly high, and Devon didn't have wings or could fly or anything, how'd he even get up there...

"I had him clean the light fixtures through the whole hotel. Figured we'd knock out finding any other stashes 'coincidentally'. Sidewinder was technically last week, trying to flush a blunt down his toilet - I reminded him that weed is fine and he should just join the hookah nights that Cress started. His last coke attempt was tucking a baggie under his mattress about two weeks ago."

Duuuly nooooted aaand swing in for the kill-

"Mm. Right. Last day off you and Charlie have had?"

"...Well... we're usually on call. I guess... that time we went to Heaven to plead our case would count," Vaggie admitted uncertainly. "But we only had two guests to worry about at that point, so that was actually feasible."

Of course they've been up to Heaven. News to him, but a literal fallen seraphim lived in the building.

He clicked his tongue. "Yeah, thought so- Free up your upcoming friday. There will be a car in front of the hotel in the morning. No need to pack anything, go with an appetite. Ever heard of Into the Annwn? Fantastic spa."

You're welcome.

He took the projection window and clapped his hands over it to dismiss it. "Right! That about covers everything, I think. Why don't I bother some of the other staff real quick before the catering gets here- I've heard the old tomcat is staying here and I'm sure the charming little lady in the poodle skirt will pop up eventually."

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