"They say you were looking for a soul to steal! Bet your gold fiddle with a man named Johnny," Alastor teased - surely Lucifer had heard the song by now, even if it was only from about forty years ago. "Then again, you'd brought it out to challenge little old me!"
His laugh was a wheeze. "That's right!! Funny thing, I had a pal play the song for me, and I have... critiques!"
He raised a finger. "For one, I don't just look for souls to steal! If I were, it'd be a strong soul and not just from some schmoe. And two-... my 'part' sounded WAY better!"
A pause. He snapped his fingers and called up the fiddle right the fuck now.
"How'd it- how'd it go, hold on... lemme recreate it..."
Meanwhile, Keekee, who smelled a tasty snack, crept cautiously with a wide berth to the King. Oh, how she hated the instrument sounds. But the food was a stronger draw as the angel worked to recreate the sounds. He was... accurate, but slower on account of the inebriation.
"See, see?? I had demon chorus and everything! By virtue of production value, I clearly had this Johnny kid beat! And what's he give me? Some barnyard-county-fair-...flipping...!!"
He was playing along. Was he trying to best himself? Did a fictional character get his goat?
"Hmm! Maybe you were impressed that a man with only his fiddle could do such a performance?" Alastor challenged in amusement, enjoying Lucifer's ability to match up to the song - if a little sloppily, given how hard the two of them had been drinking. "Perhaps the songwriter knew that you're a sucker for someone with talent."
He started in his seat, narrowed his eyes at the Radio Demon.
"...I will not deny that, but Betsy never leaves my hands! I'd never give her to some random human. They'd- they'd get their sticky fingerprints all over her!!"
"I suppose that poses the real question... can you go to Earth?" Alastor asked, quite curious. If he could, would he even tell someone like Alastor the truth about that? Maybe he had enough booze in him to not think better of it.
"Oohoohoo- wouldn't you like to know~?" He raised the bow and twirled it at him in little circles.
"Maybe I'm just so busy that I rarely need to take errands up top! Or, maybe I take regular holidays for a little fresh air! That's the beauty of ruling your own realm, Alastor. You set your own hours!"
Alastor just chuckles through his teeth, giving Lucifer a mysterious grin. Sounds like he coooould. And that would line up with a few of the family photos, too. Fascinating!
Still, the fish is done now - Alastor will plate it, lightly saute a side of veggies, and plate it all to slide in front of the king. "Eat up, Morningstar."
Oh, so he gets to do a little poking and prodding about Alastor's life now, hmmm??
The plate came to a stop before him and he vanished the fiddle. Betsy didn't need to get any stains or even stray steam marking.
"...Wow." This was...
His stomach was roaring. So don't mind him as his curiosity turned to helping himself to the first forkful.
...
The fork dropped. He brought his hands together before his chest as his six wings unfurled. He slowly began to rise from his seat and float toward the ceiling. He even called upon a distant chorus to sound through the air, give him a spotlight, a pillar of radiance.
"Welp! I've seen the light. Farewell, friend...! I'm ascending...! Parting is such sweet sorrow...!"
Oh, the theatrics, the affirmation!! That's right, you BETTER appreciate his mama's cooking lessons! Alastor laughed, taking a fork and threatening to cut a bite from Lucifer's plate.
"Well, well! More for me, then, I suppose! Waste not!"
Hah hah hah! Alastor summoned a lemon, slicing it in half and squeezing it over the fish, taking the other half for himself. He's both extremely pleased to have been so well praised, and extremely amused that the same tactics one uses to encourage a child to eat their dinner worked so well on the King of Hell.
"The spritz of citrus helps the flavors pop between bites, too."
His scramble was terribly undignified, clutching the counter's edge the best he could to right himself and plant his butt back in the seat. All, of course, while trying not to accidentally jab himself with the fork.
"Er- right, right! Citrus, fish, a classic...!"
Another bite. Oh... yeah, this was a classic, but this enhanced things further with the spice blend.
"Color me curious, Foodie Man- a food combo that you will never understand and do not personally tolerate. Go."
"Candied meats. Even a honeyglazed ham is pushing it, and some insist on overindulging in the honey. I could never stand when the church gals brought in their grape jelly meatballs, it always made my stomach turn," Alastor answered immediately and smoothly.
"There is some precedent for sweet with meats. I just find it highly unpleasant."
"There is no cure for bad taste, unfortunately... she had grape vines growing on her property, and so she was very, very proud to provide, even when the depression had things getting quite lean for everyone..." S I G H.
"I could bring venison and some forageables when attending, so I wasn't one of the families in need. They could stomach the meatballs in my stead."
"Not much to Forage on Pride, I'm afraid... mm. But. There's some lovely fiddleheads that sprout in Gluttony, if you can beat the hellhounds that have the nose for it. Ooh, and the 'Chicken of Hell' sulphurshelf... I try and get those whenever I can."
He paused, squinted in thought. "Don't know what the hunting's like. That'd be in Wrath, for sure. I don't go down there often. But the boar... ooh, the boar..."
He patted himself, realized he was without his notepad, snapped his fingers.
"Ah... remind me to maybe do some catering sometime. A fancy brunch would be fun. With mimosas~"
"Oh hoh, any opportunity to try something from other Rings is a treat indeed! I'll take you up on the offer. What ships up here is always woefully far from fresh," Alastor beamed as he dug into his own plate, the rest of the fish and veggies disappearing.
"I could always use new spices to see what to better season with," he mused. Especially when he was dining on Sinners, in particular, they could all be so fussy to pair flavors for.
When you had some unsavory factors needing bribes to get goods up quickly and the imps were working their tails off, it was no wonder things didn't come up without taking a little time first. But the King... well, if he asked for something, it hurried along.
The Morningstars weren't the absolute pinnacles demanding respect here in Hell, but Lucifer liked to think he still had some level of pull.
"Well, I don't know about ushering up something like saffron by the pound here, but I think I can drum up some fun stuff for you to play with. ...On one condition."
He raised a finger.
"You'll need a taste tester! A couple at least. Charlie can be impartial, but she's got a Hell of a palate."
"Sold you on my abilities, have I? Even if I cook using meat from Sinners?" Alastor teased, taking a bite of some nicely snappy peppers. "It is, after all, the most memorable way to remind people not to mess with me or with this Hotel. I find many Sinners aren't interested in coming back even after regrowing limbs when I remind them what wine I found best paired with their flanks."
"Hold on now...! I'm not so soft that- that I'd not eat something cooked from Sinners!"
God, he was going to regret this conversation once he sobered up. But he was being CHALLENGED!!
"Besides, there are plenty of legends involving gaining power from eating pieces of your opponents! Why, who knows what anybody'd get nibbling on pieces of me, right? I've seen those online listings of gathered vials of angel's blood from that Purge!"
He went for his phone and started scrolling.
"...Yeah, see, right here- an aphrodisiac which is just plain silly- a strength enhancer- debatable- and..."
"Exorcists do taste a bit more clean as far as meat goes - I suppose heaven does have better food for them to graze on," Alastor chuckled, though he glanced at Lucifer as he proposed the idea of gaining powers from eating him.
"Hmmm... but the king of hell's flesh and blood... intereesting thought."
"I can tell you this much: The food is fancy, sure, but it's also low-carb, high-nutrition, gluten-free, soy-free, everything-free... there's all these textures and all, but after a while the food becomes more a thing to admire and look good around than enjoy. I said hey, maybe a little cheese goes a long way, but nooOOOOooo, that's fat and calories! Okay, what about a little sugar or honey for your tea? Empty carbs! Lucifer, stop questioning the way food is prepared!"
His rant dropped as he put the phone away. His eyebrows raised as he stared, owl-eyed, at Alastor.
But then he narrowed them mischievously, propped his chin in his hands over his empty plate. Damn. A clean plate, too.
"...Alastor, you can't just tell a man you want to eat them. You'll give them ideas."
"Can't I, though? Surely a little nibble wouldn't hurt," Alastor playfully replied, leaning in and 'walking' two fingers on Lucifer's shoulder, towards his neck.
"Quite a bargaining chip indeed, if you ever wanted to indulge a curious cannibal... quite a different sort of breathing down your neck than what you're used to, I imagine."
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divinetree2024-04-01 08:17 am
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He raised a finger. "For one, I don't just look for souls to steal! If I were, it'd be a strong soul and not just from some schmoe. And two-... my 'part' sounded WAY better!"
A pause. He snapped his fingers and called up the fiddle right the fuck now.
"How'd it- how'd it go, hold on... lemme recreate it..."
Meanwhile, Keekee, who smelled a tasty snack, crept cautiously with a wide berth to the King. Oh, how she hated the instrument sounds. But the food was a stronger draw as the angel worked to recreate the sounds. He was... accurate, but slower on account of the inebriation.
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Once he had a nice little dish ready, he set it on the floor for miss Keekee. There you are, darling.
And then, for Lucifer's 'enjoyment', he let the song play over his radio speakers. It's a fun little tune, if you ask Alastor!
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He was playing along. Was he trying to best himself? Did a fictional character get his goat?
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"...I will not deny that, but Betsy never leaves my hands! I'd never give her to some random human. They'd- they'd get their sticky fingerprints all over her!!"
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"Maybe I'm just so busy that I rarely need to take errands up top! Or, maybe I take regular holidays for a little fresh air! That's the beauty of ruling your own realm, Alastor. You set your own hours!"
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Still, the fish is done now - Alastor will plate it, lightly saute a side of veggies, and plate it all to slide in front of the king. "Eat up, Morningstar."
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The plate came to a stop before him and he vanished the fiddle. Betsy didn't need to get any stains or even stray steam marking.
"...Wow." This was...
His stomach was roaring. So don't mind him as his curiosity turned to helping himself to the first forkful.
...
The fork dropped. He brought his hands together before his chest as his six wings unfurled. He slowly began to rise from his seat and float toward the ceiling. He even called upon a distant chorus to sound through the air, give him a spotlight, a pillar of radiance.
"Welp! I've seen the light. Farewell, friend...! I'm ascending...! Parting is such sweet sorrow...!"
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"Well, well! More for me, then, I suppose! Waste not!"
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"HEY! Hey! I-I wasn't done!!" He fluttered back down with a scramble and grabbed for his fork.
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"The spritz of citrus helps the flavors pop between bites, too."
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His scramble was terribly undignified, clutching the counter's edge the best he could to right himself and plant his butt back in the seat. All, of course, while trying not to accidentally jab himself with the fork.
"Er- right, right! Citrus, fish, a classic...!"
Another bite. Oh... yeah, this was a classic, but this enhanced things further with the spice blend.
"Color me curious, Foodie Man- a food combo that you will never understand and do not personally tolerate. Go."
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"There is some precedent for sweet with meats. I just find it highly unpleasant."
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"I don't think the Creator can help her when she's simply sinning in her slow cooker."
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"I could bring venison and some forageables when attending, so I wasn't one of the families in need. They could stomach the meatballs in my stead."
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He paused, squinted in thought. "Don't know what the hunting's like. That'd be in Wrath, for sure. I don't go down there often. But the boar... ooh, the boar..."
He patted himself, realized he was without his notepad, snapped his fingers.
"Ah... remind me to maybe do some catering sometime. A fancy brunch would be fun. With mimosas~"
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"I could always use new spices to see what to better season with," he mused. Especially when he was dining on Sinners, in particular, they could all be so fussy to pair flavors for.
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The Morningstars weren't the absolute pinnacles demanding respect here in Hell, but Lucifer liked to think he still had some level of pull.
"Well, I don't know about ushering up something like saffron by the pound here, but I think I can drum up some fun stuff for you to play with. ...On one condition."
He raised a finger.
"You'll need a taste tester! A couple at least. Charlie can be impartial, but she's got a Hell of a palate."
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God, he was going to regret this conversation once he sobered up. But he was being CHALLENGED!!
"Besides, there are plenty of legends involving gaining power from eating pieces of your opponents! Why, who knows what anybody'd get nibbling on pieces of me, right? I've seen those online listings of gathered vials of angel's blood from that Purge!"
He went for his phone and started scrolling.
"...Yeah, see, right here- an aphrodisiac which is just plain silly- a strength enhancer- debatable- and..."
Squint.
"...Improves test scores...?"
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"Hmmm... but the king of hell's flesh and blood... intereesting thought."
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His rant dropped as he put the phone away. His eyebrows raised as he stared, owl-eyed, at Alastor.
But then he narrowed them mischievously, propped his chin in his hands over his empty plate. Damn. A clean plate, too.
"...Alastor, you can't just tell a man you want to eat them. You'll give them ideas."
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"Quite a bargaining chip indeed, if you ever wanted to indulge a curious cannibal... quite a different sort of breathing down your neck than what you're used to, I imagine."
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