divinetree | Mom says it's my turn with the Alastor

"I do wonder how long it's been since an actual love match, myself. It certainly doesn't stop some of them from sneaking off after drugging a partner's tea for sleep to go see the one they truly desire. I think taking concubines has been one such 'solution', but we all know it's to please the lords' hunger than the ladies' desires."

He rolled his eyes. "It's been a while since I opened my palace doors for such events, too. They claim it's 'auspicious' to match while under the King's gaze, but I think they just want photo opportunities more than anything. What's lucky about getting thrown together because your father wants grandkids with particular powers or whose dad-in-law owns good land?"

"Weeeell, you could certainly stir up a little trouble given your authority, hmm? Imagine! 'In the spirit of Free Will, I say these kids ought to pick their own suitors amongst themselves!' Hah!"

That gets a more direct laugh from Alastor - Rosie always knew his funny bone, which was deliberately causing absolute chaos.

"HAH! Oh, the sheer number of gray feathers and molting that starts to happen the moment those words leave my mouth...! I wonder, can they clutch all of the pearls they own...?"

He perched his chin upon his knuckles, grin sharp.

"You know, now that Heaven's stopped being a pain in the ass for the time being, maybe I should open my doors for a social season... this all sounds like fun."

Rosie has a hearty laugh, waving at Alastor. "I can see why you two are a perfect match! Ya both have the same craving for chaos! I think you two make a fine pair, ought to have plenty of fun."

"A little chaos keeps things fresh, and I like to think we have loads of fun thus far... do we not?"

He chuckled. "Why, I introduced this guy to a polka night! Showed him the ropes. Then he drank me under the table. I thought I could tuck into a few beers no problem, but he showed me I'm terribly rusty!"

"Polka, ohh, we love polka around here! I'll have to introduce you to Jerry, he's Dutch, makes his own accordions around here - a little temperamental but catch him when he's got a full stomach and he's a cheerful fella. He'd love showing off his accordion work sometime. Not surprised one bit Alastor got into it - he loves any kind of music and dance, an entertainer at heart. Not surprised about the drinking, given the stories Mimzy always shared!"

"A man of taste! I appreciate another who understands the wonder of the accordion. I should like to meet this Jerry sometime. However-!"

He gestured to his empty plate. The less he thought of it, the more he could focus on the texture and flavors. She'd even paired the meat with the right vegetables, making for a lovely lunch.

"I must address a most important matter: This was wonderful! You'll have to share your seasonings with me, Madam. You could say it was... divine?"

Rosie laughs at that, flattered and pleased he'd scarfed his meal after the initial unease. And had a cheeky joke to top it off, oh, she could see Alastor's smile twitching in amusement from the corner of her eye!

"Thank you, thank you~! But if I tell you my secrets, you won't come back for more!"

He grinned. "Well, golly... alright. Keep your secrets, temptress!"

He turned to Alastor. "You hear that? I guess we'll just have to come back for more, won't we, Deer-est?"

Alastor's glad he's tucked the damned thing away, because if it were out, his tail would be waggling in excitement and mirth. What a delight that he'd swayed another into actually enjoying his favorite place in Hell, with one of his favorite people, whilst eating his favorite cuisine!

"Oh most certainly, we won't keep Darling Rosie waiting!"

"Oh, I wouldn't dare; I haven't had a nice time like this in a while! ...A long while!"

A long... long... long while. But who's counting!?

"Well, Rosie, dear, lunch was a delight as always. And you heard it here first - we'll hop on a new invitation the very moment you breathe it, darling!"

"Of course! You boys are lovely, I'll send a telegram next we have something special going on. Would you boys like some leftovers to take with you?"

"Oh, I most certainly would."

It was good. Honestly, truly good. And what was a better expression of free will than nibbling upon perfectly good meat from your old colleagues that spent centuries making your life a living nightmare?

"Yeah, let's do it! Thank you kindly." He shan't be rude. But oh Hell, he needed to find a way to, er, not tell Charlie what's in the box later.

Rosie absolutely loaded them up. Wrapped meat fresh out of the smoker with parchment for them, passing that to Alastor - and then Rosie wouldn't let them leave without tugging the King into the Emporium. He was sent home with a massive bag of charming clothes, some of them for Charlie but mostly a collection of vests or hats that Rosie had found 'fetching' on Lucifer, all of which had that subtle Cannibal Town bones-and-roses aesthetic.

Alastor hooked his elbow with Lucifer as they bid their farewells and left, a few amused chuckles trying to well up in his chest. He managed to hold back until they were out of Cannibal Town properly.

"I must say, I'm impressed at your willpower, tackling the finger before the roast."

Armed with new digs and some gifts for dear Charlotte, he'd had a productive day in Cannibal Town. Really, what a nice place to visit! Charlie wasn't wrong with her assessment of how it was. Nothing against her judgment, of course, yet she does always try to see the bright side and silver linings of things out of a reluctance to be considered 'mean'.

The brisket, of course, was why his stomach twisted into a little jittery knot. Not the tactile joy of being arm in arm.

With Alastor's remark, Lucifer burst into an uneven spout of laughter, clutching his chest. It was all coming back to him now, sending him into momentary shock. He'd done it. He'd actually done it.

"Why I did the whole thing instead of bites I'll never understand! That- that was a poor choice on my part- how would have I looked if I choked in front of our host, right??"

Hah hah hah! Alastor laughed at the mental image, entirely amused.

"Had you missed the spoon entirely? HAH! Imagine, the king choking on a finger bone - Charlie would bring down her wrath in an instant. What a comedic demise that would have been!"

He could imagine- after handling Adam and the angels, it's a finger bone in the throat that takes out the King of Hell.

But he manifested his tail to give Alastor a playful jab in the ribs.

"And just who neglected to bring that to my attention, hm? It is one of my many duties as a royal to ensure my etiquette never fails to hit a mark, you know."

"And make your mistake clear? No, no, you were already so bold to stir your tea," Alastor bat away the tail, though he was still thoroughly amused. "And Rosie had gone to such lengths to make your first meal palatable. Hilarious!"

Uh-huh. Get your laughs in, Bambi.

He gently clapped a hand to his forehead. "And how was I supposed to know we were a tasty bunch?? I don't know if I'd make a habit out of it or anything, but... it was surprisingly good, and I don't find myself with any regrets."

He looked ahead, but tipped his head. "...Of course, I'd like to keep that between us. Charlie... I'm not sure what she would make of it. Or Vaggie, for that matter."

"You'll be the King of Hell for all eternity, never to return to Heaven - redemption isn't something you're bothered with, so adopting and understanding the cultures of your people should suffice," Alastor rattled off easily. See, such a diplomatic reason!

"Neither will want to hear what you ate, rest assured. They won't be nosy."

"I should hope so. And oh no- I never want to see the likes of Heaven, or Sera or anyone else up there for as long as I exist. That much is certain! Pains in my ass!" He'd taken on a snappish tone by the end, there.

"They thought they'd imprisoned me down here as both jailer and inmate, but a fat lot of good that decision did! Hell's a massive mess, but... it's my mess. And I love a whole lot of creatures down here."

He sighed, smiled.

"...Wouldn't trade 'em for anything."

"See? Charlie would be thrilled to hear that from you," Alastor chuckled, gazing fondly at Lucifer. He'd gotten close to everyone in the Hotel, spent time with Charlie - it was only natural she started to break down his walls the way she could anyone else's.

"When you arrived you were stubbornly bitter towards them. Imagine how joyful her tears are going to be to hear you say something like this, instead."

That earned a quiet laugh. "I wasn't always bitter, you know! When it all first started, I was so angry at the concept of my own falling or... or failing to 'please' some specifics of Heaven that as the first Sinners fell, I wanted nothing more than to accommodate the humans as best as I could."

He reached up to loosen his bow tie. "Now it's... cleaning up a right mess I've made for a couple of centuries. The press conferences and interviews are annoying, but I suppose they deserve to have a few blows before I push back. I can only hope all those TV cameras don't have me putting on 20 pounds, am I right?"

"You needn't go on television at all, if you were to ask me. Nor would I tolerate any disrespect. Whatever you believe you owe Sinners you have begun to repay with your actions instead," Alastor curled his lip, bitter at the idea of being a public punching bag. A king most certainly shouldn't be one.

"No, no. You should make statements when you deem necessary. Release statements you deem important. The Sinners don't understand what is going on and don't yet value what matters most in Hell right now. Fuck them. When they get on board with making their eternal prison better, then they can have a say."

He smirked. "Your concern is touching, but make no mistake: I'm not letting them walk all over me. Not any more. I endure the appearances to remind them that I'm very much alive and well, that I have seen to Adam's demise, and my message is that I will no longer tolerate Heaven's sullying this world it never bothered to try and understand, let alone manage."

Then, a shrug. "Questions involving my personal life are off the table, of course. Let the tabloids starve. I like how they squirm, now that they've run dry of any fresh news from the night the angels arrived. You really should see them struggle sometime, if you can stomach television for but five minutes."

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