It's not that complicated, no matter what they say

[sugaronthecream]

Comments

[trust_us_with_your]

Okay, rooms arranged in this fashion... king sleeps up there, and across the way was Al's room! Oooh, but can he peek in, see if there's some stuff he can sneak over to the tower. Maybe some extra pillows, something familiar while also helping with Al's back a little.

...He hopes he's feeling oka--

Vox froze, the back of his neck prickling. He pulled his hand from the doorknob.

"...Need an autograph, or...?"

[xxorcist]

Oh, of course you beelined for Alastor's room, you stalker weirdo... you're making her feel BAD for the cannibalistic serial killer.

(She had no idea that Vox was anything but that stalker.)

"You know, if Alastor asks, I'm going to tell him straightforwardly what you were just about to do."

[trust_us_with_your]

"Oh, sweetheart... you can't tell me you're not the slightest bit curious as to what he keeps in here. Maybe he stashes drugs, too! He's from the 30's. They use fucking laudanum for headaches."

[xxorcist]

"He keeps a swamp, a fireplace and a stupid little garden table he eats dead deer off of," Vaggie said flatly. "And I think there's an alligator skeleton on the wall. That's about it. Listen, I don't want Alastor coming back thinking I didn't at least try to keep people from going in there, especially not you. Since I assume you're the reason he always threw a giant fit about doing anything involving TVs or making the commercial or whatever."

[trust_us_with_your]

He scowled briefly. But he sighed, and fixed his tie.

"He always was the type to need to be dragged kicking and bleating to get with the times, the brat..."

A breath- "-But! See, if it were just a normal and vacated room that would be great, but if there is an honest-to-god swamp in there that risks leaking, and valuables inside that risk theft. He's a high-profile guy, is he not? I think ol' Bambi would appreciate a little inventory and the assurance that nobody decided to get sticky fingers or come here on a dare and take a trophy as proof."

Then he turned, shrugged. "But hey, what do I know about the stability of large bodies of water or human nature...?"

You need to sleep sometime. He'll just come back later.

He smiled. "Now, how did you come to know what's in there? He's not the type to invite anyone into his personal bubble. He barges into yours instead."

[xxorcist]

"Door was open when I went to track him down for a task."

Well, not open open, but whatever - like Vox said, he barges into everyone else's space.

"I'm guessing you're not about to take up a room here in the meantime."

[trust_us_with_your]

"'Fraid not! Got my own business to run. Besides, having something waiting for you across town after a hard day's work makes the job more fulfilling!"

He brought a hand to heart. "Something worth fighting for."

[xxorcist]

The last remark catches her attention, at least.

It's a sentiment she understands intrinsically.

"Oh, yeah? What's that?"

1/2

[trust_us_with_your]

WHOOPS-

2/2

[trust_us_with_your]

"Oh, you know, it's- it depends on the day! My sharks can get needy and miss me, or I've got a new record burning a hole in my collection that demands to be put on the player and I unwind with a little something on the rocks. That sort of thing."

WHEW. Okay.

"I'd imagine you've got something like that." He turned, wiggled his eyebrows. Smokescreen time.

"Something tall. Blonde."

[xxorcist]

Well, yeah, obviously... Vaggie tilted her head a bit. "You... feel about your sharks the same way?"

Err, not like that, but like they matter that much--

[trust_us_with_your]

"I think anyone with pets can agree! You had the shittiest day, you come home, and either your cat is screaming at you or your dog's got its tail going a mile a minute... sharks are smarter than people make of them! Their mood improves, and they even swim close to the windows of their tank when I come in. Hell, my mood improves, too."

He moved at a more easygoing stride. He could talk about them aaaall day. How much time you got, Mothra?

"There's this sense of, 'Hey- even if everyone around me is complete and utter shit, I've got something that is happy to see me no matter what.'"

[xxorcist]

...You know, despite herself, she laughs a little at that. Yeah, yeah... she feels that way about Keekee. Razzle (and Dazzle...) were both a lot smarter, but it felt pretty similar with them, even if they definitely were more Charlie's companions.

"Or you come home and the cat's thrown up on the carpet, or the pig's gnawed off a hole in the countertop because he's hungry," she joked a bit. "What's the catch with sharks? Bitey, probably?"

[trust_us_with_your]

"Bitey, obviously," he confirmed, and his arms wound back behind him. He opted for a holographic window instead, text appearing across its surface with his passive observation. "And during the breeding season, they turn to each other with those teeth. Biting is flirting."

But he chuckled then. "But I swear they come with some level of pica cooked in their DNA, too. You know, an inclination to eat just about anything? It's why people will find license plates or just about any old thing in their bellies. One of mine has a thing for algae-covered rocks, so the outcroppings need extra diligent algae-eaters to keep the rocks from becoming... tasty... I guess. Otherwise it's making sure a staff member hasn't dropped their jacket or their phone or something in the tanks."

He grinned. "...The minute I made it policy that any staff that loses their things has the brand new task of searching shark shit for their valuables, the lockers have seen far more use."

[xxorcist]

Okay. Don't be too endeared by that - Alastor could SEEM endearing, too, but that didn't make him trustworthy.

"Mmmyep, that'd motivate me, too," Vaggie agreed, stifling an amused mental image of people having to dig through shit to find their things, instead of just getting beaten and put through hazing exercises as a punishment...

"Does sound like you care about 'em. Must make up for not being able to cuddle."

oogh, vaggie... they better fucking dig into that, fr fr

[trust_us_with_your]

"I mean, you could, if you're fine with a little sandpaper...! Hahahah! But Shok.wav is cuddly. He practically begs for it, completely touch-starved!"

Like father, like son.

"So yeah. A little something to look forward to after a long day. Besides, I've got too much equipment to cram into any old room here without making major renovations, and considering how much some sections of this place gets blown to bits from what I'd heard, I'd rather save the headache."

THE DREAM

[xxorcist]

"You know, I didn't peg you for a pet-dad kind of guy at first, but I guess it makes sense. Liking animals more than people, having the evil supervillain lair where you feed rival overlords to your sharks, whatever."

At least, she hopes in vain that it's only rival overlords or people picking fights with them...

....... who's she kidding.

"Is it just sharks, or are you an all-kinds-of-sea-critters guy?"

[trust_us_with_your]

That brings out a new peal of laughter, enough that he needed to clutch himself. "Evil supervillain lair...!"

All it's missing was being tucked into a mountain with lightning crashing everywhere, and a moat...! Oh, how he wishes, but the time for something self-indulgent had long since passed.

He was fighting to catch his breath, wiping a tear from an eye as Vaggie continued.

"HAHA... hah- Sharks! Just- just sharks. I dabbled in marine biology for a little bit, but I always circled back... WHEWWW... ohh..."

[xxorcist]

"Oh, come on... the surveillance state, shark tank, swanky suits, mad cackling, a top hat... you're the big bad from a Saturday morning cartoon," Vaggie snickered. "A real 'the villain was always capitalism' type."

[trust_us_with_your]

"Swanky!! ...I'll let Velvette know. She's the one to turn to for something as good as this. You play your cards right, I can set you up with an appointment; put you in something that'll make the princess' socks fly off, huh?" For the laugh, you know? It's not often he gets a good laugh.

"I don't have a mad cackle, though. So judgmental."

[xxorcist]

"Yeeaaaaah, no, you and Alastor both have the quintessential 'mwahahaha'," Vaggie snorted a bit, amused. He couldn't be more villain-coded if he tried--

Nah, then again, he could have a big old trench coat with a high collar. ...TV-headed dracula... pfft...

"You're definitely not as committed to the bit as Alastor, though."

[trust_us_with_your]

He'd be a sexy Dracula and you just don't see the vision, lady.

The rest made Vox stop, turn his head before the rest of his body followed.

"Pause. ...Excuse me??"

[xxorcist]

GUH. That sort of creepy thing never stopped making her flinch - even if Vox's neck didn't make that godawful sound Alastor's did.

"What?"

[trust_us_with_your]

"The bit!? I've got a better laugh! Not to MENTION my jacket isn't a ratty mess, for starters...!"

[xxorcist]

Wwwwwwow.

Vaggie grins, in lieu of snickering at him - preeeeetty insecure, huh? You are such a weirdo.

"I mean... the raggedy coat does kind of give 'dangerous and willing to fight'. Like, actually battle-hardened. Plus, the whole eating raw meat thing. I'm pretty sure it's hard to top that kind of intimidation factor."