It's not that complicated, no matter what they say

[sugaronthecream]

Comments

[trust_us_with_your]

"...And you're dead set on me not... suggesting that toilets aren't where the drugs go, huh...?"

Pleeeease, he doesn't wanna mess with toilets, groooooss, that's janitor stuff-

[minimorningstar]

"Yeah... no. It's-- it's really important that they learn how to break their bad habits themselves, y'know...? And we're here to help them, not force them."

SORRY, BUB...

1/2

[trust_us_with_your]

NO YOU'RE NOT.

...

Do it for them.

Do it for the peeper.

2/2

[trust_us_with_your]

DEEP BREATH.

"Okay-! So I add some parameters to Shok.wav's olfactory systems. He can smell blood in water for approximately a kilometer, and I'm sure he can sniff out narcotics on a guest arriving and send an alert. It's that or installing a camera at the door, and I'd assume that's a no-no, right...?"

He began to pace. "But he- and I- can't be here 24/7, so some things may slip through the cracks. However, finding SOME drug stashes beats finding too many."

Vox turned and pointed to Charlie. "You, princess, can traverse the Rings freely. You're also probably buddies with Queen Belphegor- surely you can tap in a favor and get hold of at least a couple of fresh counselors who specialize in addiction...?"

[minimorningstar]

"Oh! Uh, yeah-- I can see if aunt Bel is interested in helping, now," Charlie perked up. It wasn't that the Sins didn't support her, they just... didn't... really believe in Sinners either. They'd seen what it did to her dad, and all.

But! Maybe things would be different, now? Hopefully...!!

"Satan already helps with getting shipments on food here from Wrath, so. I should see if Bel reconsidered."

[trust_us_with_your]

"...If she needs a pitch, I can draft something over the weekend. But you'd know your Aunt Bel the best, I suppose."

He brought his hands together. "...So! With all of that in mind to start... how are we feeling, what are we thinking?"

[minimorningstar]

"Confused? But kind of excited? We were going to have dad's help with Alastor leaving, saying he didn't want to endanger the hotel with... whatever he's doing. But this is at least nicely timed!"

"Keep your sadism to yourself and you might even be a better version of what half-assed work Alastor gave us."

"Vaggie!! He did try, don't be so hard on him..."

[trust_us_with_your]

He snickered, leaned for a theatrical whisper next to the princess: "My sadism, she says. Tell me- Does she sleep with that spear in her hand, too? Just curious..."

[minimorningstar]

"Oh, don't be like that...! She's trying to make sure that our guests are safe. They're our family, here, after all!"

[trust_us_with_your]

Vox made a bit of a face. Bit 'Olive Garden' there, princess. But that's sort of on brand, wasn't it...?

Fuck. He wanted bread sticks right now.

"Aw, I'm just lightening the mood...! Anyway, I'm going to have a walk-around and observe for a few hours. Take notes. You know, that sort of thing." He tapped one side of his monitor to check the time.

"Hmm... Get a break for lunch delivery at noon sharp, too, for the staff. My treat!"

LOOK HOW MUCH BETTER HE IS. WITNESS HIM.

[minimorningstar]

"Oh-- really?"

"Just skip anything with pork or boar - a couple guests get pretty sick and miserable after eating it."

"Oh, yeaaah... I thiiiink they might be allergic, but we haven't gotten to check."

[trust_us_with_your]

"Pigless! Got it." Hellboar was a little funny like that- you had to make sure you had all your fucking shots before you ate any of the stuff. How the imps make do, Vox will never understand.

"Alright... the day continues as usual! Consider me invisible." He waggled his claws in emphasis, then turned. He needed to peek down these halls, and finally get his own perspective, rather than cameras and spies RUMORS AND HEARSAY.

[minimorningstar]

"Ooookay, well... uh... right now is group therapy... so everything anyone says in there has to be one hundred percent confidential, okay?"

"Charlie! Don't let him in the room, we have enough trouble when ALASTOR stands in there and menaces everyone!"

"He-- didn't try to menace anybody, he was helping! In a way that's not his strong suit but-- if you really are helping, then I-- right! I order you, aaas Princess of Hell, to stay and help Sinners redeem their souls at the hotel! ...For as long as you want to. No Deals - we had that talk with Alastor, too."

[trust_us_with_your]

He actually paused and turned his head on a swivel to blink at her.

"Wait. Did... did you seriously just try to issue an order?"

Vox had to bite his lip a bit to stop more than the little snort he gave. "Oh my god."

His head turned back, and he waved a hand dismissively. "But no no, I'll leave listening to the people talk about their daddy issues to you, princess...! Besides, I can't be an invisible observer if I'm there and it makes them all clam up, right? Interferes with the ✨ healing process~ ✨"

He conjured just one more holographic screen. "Anyway, just give me a holler if you need me for anything! I'm going to wander and take notes."

[minimorningstar]

GOSH he was as weird and off-putting as Alastor in completely different ways.........

"Well... okay, uh, I guess we'll meet before the trust exercises at two...?"

[trust_us_with_your]

That's why they were besties once!!! Inspiring!

"That I'd like to see! ...And the catering will be here at noon sharp. I'll have it all sent to the kitchen when it arrives. It's a lot, so don't spoil your lunch, people! Let's roll!"

[xxorcist]

Charlie went back to the group, but there was nooooo way that Vaggie was going to just... pretend Vox wasn't there. Just like with Alastor in those early days, she set immediately to following right behind him as he meandered and took notes.

Sure - now and then guests had questions or requests. Vaggie would immediately stop and help out, run off to delegate, whatever-- but she always seemed to track Vox down pretty quickly right after. Nothing if not stubborn, this one.

[trust_us_with_your]

Okay, rooms arranged in this fashion... king sleeps up there, and across the way was Al's room! Oooh, but can he peek in, see if there's some stuff he can sneak over to the tower. Maybe some extra pillows, something familiar while also helping with Al's back a little.

...He hopes he's feeling oka--

Vox froze, the back of his neck prickling. He pulled his hand from the doorknob.

"...Need an autograph, or...?"

[xxorcist]

Oh, of course you beelined for Alastor's room, you stalker weirdo... you're making her feel BAD for the cannibalistic serial killer.

(She had no idea that Vox was anything but that stalker.)

"You know, if Alastor asks, I'm going to tell him straightforwardly what you were just about to do."

[trust_us_with_your]

"Oh, sweetheart... you can't tell me you're not the slightest bit curious as to what he keeps in here. Maybe he stashes drugs, too! He's from the 30's. They use fucking laudanum for headaches."

[xxorcist]

"He keeps a swamp, a fireplace and a stupid little garden table he eats dead deer off of," Vaggie said flatly. "And I think there's an alligator skeleton on the wall. That's about it. Listen, I don't want Alastor coming back thinking I didn't at least try to keep people from going in there, especially not you. Since I assume you're the reason he always threw a giant fit about doing anything involving TVs or making the commercial or whatever."

[trust_us_with_your]

He scowled briefly. But he sighed, and fixed his tie.

"He always was the type to need to be dragged kicking and bleating to get with the times, the brat..."

A breath- "-But! See, if it were just a normal and vacated room that would be great, but if there is an honest-to-god swamp in there that risks leaking, and valuables inside that risk theft. He's a high-profile guy, is he not? I think ol' Bambi would appreciate a little inventory and the assurance that nobody decided to get sticky fingers or come here on a dare and take a trophy as proof."

Then he turned, shrugged. "But hey, what do I know about the stability of large bodies of water or human nature...?"

You need to sleep sometime. He'll just come back later.

He smiled. "Now, how did you come to know what's in there? He's not the type to invite anyone into his personal bubble. He barges into yours instead."

[xxorcist]

"Door was open when I went to track him down for a task."

Well, not open open, but whatever - like Vox said, he barges into everyone else's space.

"I'm guessing you're not about to take up a room here in the meantime."

[trust_us_with_your]

"'Fraid not! Got my own business to run. Besides, having something waiting for you across town after a hard day's work makes the job more fulfilling!"

He brought a hand to heart. "Something worth fighting for."

[xxorcist]

The last remark catches her attention, at least.

It's a sentiment she understands intrinsically.

"Oh, yeah? What's that?"