Mom says it's my turn with the Alastor

[sugaronthecream]

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[sugaronthecream]

"A peking duck fattened up and set to snooze on his comfortable throne! Sounds like a winter fit for the morning star indeed," Alastor hummed in amusement.

"Not to worry, my dear. After we have a good laugh at the maze antics, I'll make sure you're properly basted in a bath."

[youknowwhothisis]

"Thinking only with your stomach, are you? What if I wanted a little venison? Some carnitas? A steak that melts in the mouth, comfort food, huh?"

[sugaronthecream]

"As you wish," Alastor hummed, brushing his knuckle against Lucifer's cheek. "It'll be your days to be spoiled."

[youknowwhothisis]

The color rose in his face and he scowled. "Of course I walked into that..."

But with a minute shake of his head, he added: "Look- I don't really talk openly about the molt. It sucks, it's the worst and I can't fly..."

[sugaronthecream]

"Well, of course not, you'll be missing feathers. I imagine that makes it quite challenging. But I'm no stranger to having to lock oneself in for a week or more for the sake of appearances," he agreed with a hum, going back to simply holding Lucifer's hand and sipping at his own drink again.

[youknowwhothisis]

What an odd thing to note. A brow furrowed, he gripped his hand a little tighter. "...Wwwhat do you mean...?"

[sugaronthecream]

"Mmm. It may be coming up soon. I'll have to arrange for someone to manage my duties."

Sigh.

"Some years it's a rut. Some it's a heat. Either way, it is humiliating."

[youknowwhothisis]

He waited for the laugh, the punchline. Neither happened.

"Oh."

Color him curious, though. But he cleared his throat quietly. "I'm, ah. Sorry. I can arrange coverage."

[sugaronthecream]

"It should be fine. Just a matter of needing to assure Charlie that nothing's wrong. Nor am I up to anything nefarious."

...

"Though perhaps it's preferable if she thinks I've slinked off to commit evil, cannibalistic deeds."

Much preferred to Charlie knowing that he's completely sexually frustrated and out of his mind for a while.

"The pains one must take to be taken seriously even when suffering through physical bodies."

[youknowwhothisis]

He tried a smile. "Ha... I think the latter might be better. If things are too quiet with you around, it's far more cause for concern than knowing you're out having yourself a 'picnic'."

But knowing where Alastor stood on that particular spectrum, Lucifer couldn't help but worry a little. Humiliation was probably his attempt to put it lightly.

He lifted their linked hands and pressed a kiss to the knuckles. "...Days that make you wish you were just a bunch of fog for a while instead of an annoying solid."

[sugaronthecream]

"And even then, when you return to the physical, you've merely put everything on pause. It's quite vexing," Alastor hummed, voice softening at the kiss as he leaned a bit closer. "You're not so special that I don't know your aching pride~"

[youknowwhothisis]

"It's always been my greatest sin. So we keep off about my chicken wings, and I won't bat an eyelash when you start bashing your antlers against walls or something."

Because whatever could be the matter of a little thing like rut, anyway? There were no other deer for more than a few miles.

[sugaronthecream]

Alastor's initial reply is a displeased, honking "Hmmm".

There was a moment to measure just how much he was going to share, but... knowing how deer work... there was a good chance he'd react to Lucifer's smell if he wasn't cautious.

Far less embarrassing to head this off at the pass, then.

"Doe will entice bucks to chase, usually for miles. I tend to lock myself away lest some filthy minded demon seeks to take advantage of the moment."

[youknowwhothisis]

"Soooo what you're saying is that I might need to fight off some bastards that come sniffing?"

The point was completely lost.

"S'been long enough since I've rolled up my sleeves and given someone a piece of my mind. Back, you jackals! That's all mine!"

[sugaronthecream]

Oh, but that's cute. Alastor's grin widened, and he leaned over the counter, resting his chin on his hand flirtatiously.

"You'll defend my honor~? Squash a few vermin to stake your claim? Never let it be said you aren't charming~!"

[youknowwhothisis]

"Hmhm~" He set his glass aside.

"None will remain!" He released Alastor's hand only to hike himself upon the bar completely, scoot himself forward. He could have leaned as well, but damn it, when everyone was a thousand feet tall he had to make do...!

"They will be crushed in your name, a final death for the insult! And at the end of the day, when all is quiet and you've endured the way your body betrays you... you will have a much-needed little snack." How dare this Sinner be so cute, chin in hand like this? He reached for and framed his face with both hands, gently angled it up.

"I'll bring you a silver platter, a selection of your would-be suitor's hearts. Little would they know they would get what they desired: Being near you... just not in the way that they'd hoped~"

[sugaronthecream]

Oh, the theatrics of it all! It made Alastor's shriveled old heart putter happily. His pallid tone warmed with a blush as he nuzzled into Lucifer's hands, ears relaxing backwards as he leaned into the affections.

"All of those desperate fools wanting to be inside me, and only you would get that wish in the way they'd even hoped~" Alastor crooned, resting a hand over one of the ones on his cheeks.

[youknowwhothisis]

He couldn't mask the way his breath quietly caught, the small swallow if he tried. Talk like that just does things to a guy.

He tipped his head and brushed his lips against a corner of that ever-present grin. "...If that is your wish when the time comes, then I'd be happy to soothe your ache, cher..."

[sugaronthecream]

Oh, he'd have it no other way, Lucifer... though he does lightly chuckle. "Though if it's a rut? Hoh, hoh. I hope you're quite ready to be hunted down like prey~"

[youknowwhothisis]

He snorted a bit. "Heh- I think I've been compared to food enough that I can handle a little hunting. Though, you'll be alright compared to heat, huh? Fewer weirdos if you're the one pursuing, as you're the one shooting your shot."

[sugaronthecream]

Crackle, pop. Alastor's face distorted in displeasure.

"There's some that would be all too pleased to try and lure me in."

[youknowwhothisis]

"Eugh, well. That scans." Aw, don't make that face. That's a double-smooch, one for each cheek.

"So, what, same strategy then? I suppose this building being pretty far from the rest of the city works in favor- you could see them coming up the hill... Hmmm."

[sugaronthecream]

It's placating at least! "I go as deep into my bayou as possible, as far from any electronics as possible, and wait until my body ceases its feral screaming urge to make fawns. Such is my penance for my Sins, I suppose."

[youknowwhothisis]

He gave one last stroke against his hairline before his hands withdrew. He went for the old criss-cross applesauce on the bar top and eased his elbows against his knees.

"Weeell, don't cease any feral screaming urges on my account." He gave Alastor a nudge.

But as he idled, he reached down to the countertop, he tapped three claws against the surface. In their wake were tiny golden lights that shaped into tiny bouncing fawns chasing each other. One tripped, all legs, but quickly stood and shook off. It had meant to do that.

"...You'd make some fluffy little monsters, though."

[sugaronthecream]

Alastor snorted a little in amusement, swirling his glass and taking a cooling sip of his drink as he watched the charming little golden figures frolicking about.

"Oh, I'm sure you'd like that," he hummed in amusement over the rim. "Having a fawn to call your own, foisted on you. Why, Charlie would hang my antlers, I'm sure."