He whirled on a heel with the new voice. The laugh was uproarious. "Oh, he absolutely will, but that's not important right now...!"
Vox opened his arms to present himself.
"That old so-and-so decided to go on a sabbatical, as you know, and I decided to take on the challenge: You're looking at the new host of the Hazbin Hotel!"
One of the imps scurried over, dug into her pockets, and retrieved a party cracker. After pulling the string, it popped and showered confetti over the four of them.
"...Now, if you'll refer to slide one here, you'll see my extensive credentials for my business sense and experience in face-to-face interactions, but considering you've got quite a few of VoxTek's innovations right here in the hotel, I think we can skip that bit, right?"
He wheeled a wrist in a circle as he closed his eyes and puffed his chest. "...Buuuut, you know, if you wanted to go through the motions, you're welcome to feast your eyes. The other slides have befores and afters among other businesses VoxTek has loaned their assistance to, and how they consistently thrive over time. I'll take questions at any time, but understand that more confidential questions demand the privacy of a conference room."
"Waaaait wait wait-- Alastor did say he was going to be back! I... understand and respect that you're looking to... help? But I don't know if he'd be comfortable with you just sort of taking his place!"
No one really had the context for why Alastor was taking a break... or any knowledge whatsoever that he'd been talking to Vox at all. All they really knew was the public spats, and Alastor's bitching about modern TV, and the reaaaaally obvious creepy stalking...!
And as far as Charlie was concerned, Al seemed really stressed out lately, so...
"And, well... when we have meetings, we kind of just have them in the lobby?"
"Oh, he issued the challenge! See, I'd gotten to bragging more about how things work in VoxTek and I guess he got a little butthurt! If you're such an expert, why don't YOU do it, then? You won't last a week, haw HAW!"
He tipped his hat. "...So here I am, until he decides I've kicked his ass at this or he decides he's done and comes on back."
But Vox quirked a brow. "Uh... the lobby, though? Really? What about for sensitive matters...?"
"--Wait. He didn't say you could torment the guests or bully them or anything like that, right? He's not supposed to do any of that either. Even if he said he just wants to watch people fail..."
"Besides, Alastor hardly did anything around here. Getting him to do his job was like pulling teeth."
"Yeaaaah... but he brought Husk and Niffty! They've been great! And he helps rebuild that front wall that always gets blown up."
He adjusted his tie. "Mm, no- see, his whole schtick is to get his rocks off when people fall on their face and eat dirt, but I wanted to see if I can't actually get things rolling in a productive fashion..."
He crossed his arms behind his back and grinned. "...Y'know. Prove that I know what the fuck I'm doing... like literally looking throughout Hell and all of its technology and access to media wasn't ABUNDANTLY FUCKING OBVIOUS, ha... haha--"
God, he doesn't fucking care at all. If this pipe dream of Charlie's is true, then let some suckers head up to Heaven and lick lollipops and play in ball pits all day or something, but a Deal was a Deal.
This was a shot to make Alastor eat his words.
...But he would do anything for the little potato he'd been exchanging transmission peeps with, too. He wondered if his father ever felt like this for him at all.
"Perfect!" He brought his hands together. The slides all clipped together into something of a flippable little book that he directed to Charlie to peruse at her own leisure. It tingled to the touch, yet had some semi-solid sensation to it nevertheless. Weird.
"So my suggestion is that I spend the day in observation, see how everything goes in the hotel. Ideally, I'd like if everybody acted like I'm not here, but that can be a tall order."
He stepped up and draped one arm over Charlie's shoulders, the other hand sweeping before them. "Give me a taste of the Hazbin Hotel experience! Let's see that big first impression for those who want to reach those pearly gates...!"
Charlie scrunched a little under the touch, though she was so used to being pulled and yanked around that it hardly registered - he was shmoozing, sales guys did that sort of thing, yada yada. Flipping through the slides-turned-weird-book, Charlie tilted her head this way and that in thought.
Keeping employees in line...? Well, they've been great, so that hasn't been a huge issue... funding and money management? Well, keeping the business documents in line is a little annoying, but no one's really called her on any mistakes...
"I guess most of what's not in here is just helping with maintenance and de-escalating anything violent happening. Sometimes helping take care of pets when the guests are gone for a long time... uhh, sometimes helping them through their withdrawals... and finding all the stashes of drugs..."
Those are the things that keep them busiest.
"That's an everyone job, but Alastor was really good at finding stashes. And keeping people from fighting."
Half of the time just by virtue of showing himself - most people scrambled just to get out of the way, offering plenty of time for cool-off and for someone more reasonable to intervene.
"Noooope, no you don't--" Vaggie interjected, practically bristling. "I know you have a hypnotism trick-- that's not going to fly here. Mind controlling people is not going to be something we do, we can't force people to be better."
Though not nearly as angry as her girlfriend, Charlie nodded in agreement. "Vaggie's right - we have rules, and our guests agreed to them, but we can't just force them to do the right thing. That isn't being better or kinder, and that isn't talking through their anger and hurt at each other. So that sort of thing wouldn't work here for what we're doing."
"Mmmm." 'Make things take longer and more difficult'. Loud and clear.
"Then I trust you've got alternative methods! Since Alastor's not here, I'm now more curious than ever on how you propose breaking up a fight! All the more reason to observe, see this place in its most... organic."
He clicked his tongue. "We'll just circle back to hypnotism another time."
He conjured one more slide, an overview on hypnotherapy, and slid that hot little number in with the rest of the 'book' he'd offered Charlie.
"Yeah - Niffty's really good at being on top of cleaning, and Vaggie and I are used to sorting out the rooms - but Alastor definitely handled rebuilding stuff, fixing piping issues..."
"Usually while he was already looking for drug stashes, since half of those are just flushed..."
"Hah! Yeah, that's true. Oh man, you get over being squeamish about toilets SO fast here, haha!"
Right, Al's conjuration. Shit, he can't really do anything like that- probably tag ol' Kingy for that- but he was technical enough that he could do repairs.
He burst out laughing, hands on hips. "Ohohokay...! Alright- you got me! See, I thought I just heard I was going to be working on toilets... good one...!"
"Four just walked out, one kept using the drugs he found stashed in there, three of them ended up dealing them back to the guests, eight took the paychecks and pretended to work until they stopped showing up, and one had a stalker that was constantly trying to put hidden cameras all over the hotel."
"Yeah... no. It's-- it's really important that they learn how to break their bad habits themselves, y'know...? And we're here to help them, not force them."
"Okay-! So I add some parameters to Shok.wav's olfactory systems. He can smell blood in water for approximately a kilometer, and I'm sure he can sniff out narcotics on a guest arriving and send an alert. It's that or installing a camera at the door, and I'd assume that's a no-no, right...?"
He began to pace. "But he- and I- can't be here 24/7, so some things may slip through the cracks. However, finding SOME drug stashes beats finding too many."
Vox turned and pointed to Charlie. "You, princess, can traverse the Rings freely. You're also probably buddies with Queen Belphegor- surely you can tap in a favor and get hold of at least a couple of fresh counselors who specialize in addiction...?"
"Oh! Uh, yeah-- I can see if aunt Bel is interested in helping, now," Charlie perked up. It wasn't that the Sins didn't support her, they just... didn't... really believe in Sinners either. They'd seen what it did to her dad, and all.
But! Maybe things would be different, now? Hopefully...!!
"Satan already helps with getting shipments on food here from Wrath, so. I should see if Bel reconsidered."
"Confused? But kind of excited? We were going to have dad's help with Alastor leaving, saying he didn't want to endanger the hotel with... whatever he's doing. But this is at least nicely timed!"
"Keep your sadism to yourself and you might even be a better version of what half-assed work Alastor gave us."
He snickered, leaned for a theatrical whisper next to the princess: "My sadism, she says. Tell me- Does she sleep with that spear in her hand, too? Just curious..."
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sugaronthecream) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
divinetree2025-10-07 08:11 pm
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Vox opened his arms to present himself.
"That old so-and-so decided to go on a sabbatical, as you know, and I decided to take on the challenge: You're looking at the new host of the Hazbin Hotel!"
One of the imps scurried over, dug into her pockets, and retrieved a party cracker. After pulling the string, it popped and showered confetti over the four of them.
"...Now, if you'll refer to slide one here, you'll see my extensive credentials for my business sense and experience in face-to-face interactions, but considering you've got quite a few of VoxTek's innovations right here in the hotel, I think we can skip that bit, right?"
He wheeled a wrist in a circle as he closed his eyes and puffed his chest. "...Buuuut, you know, if you wanted to go through the motions, you're welcome to feast your eyes. The other slides have befores and afters among other businesses VoxTek has loaned their assistance to, and how they consistently thrive over time. I'll take questions at any time, but understand that more confidential questions demand the privacy of a conference room."
A beat.
"You have those here, right? For staff meetings?"
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No one really had the context for why Alastor was taking a break... or any knowledge whatsoever that he'd been talking to Vox at all. All they really knew was the public spats, and Alastor's bitching about modern TV, and the reaaaaally obvious creepy stalking...!
And as far as Charlie was concerned, Al seemed really stressed out lately, so...
"And, well... when we have meetings, we kind of just have them in the lobby?"
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He tipped his hat. "...So here I am, until he decides I've kicked his ass at this or he decides he's done and comes on back."
But Vox quirked a brow. "Uh... the lobby, though? Really? What about for sensitive matters...?"
Oh, honey. Honey.
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And the staff is about... six people... sooooo. No need for a whole conference room...?
"You're here because of Alastor... huh..."
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"Besides, Alastor hardly did anything around here. Getting him to do his job was like pulling teeth."
"Yeaaaah... but he brought Husk and Niffty! They've been great! And he helps rebuild that front wall that always gets blown up."
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He crossed his arms behind his back and grinned. "...Y'know. Prove that I know what the fuck I'm doing... like literally looking throughout Hell and all of its technology and access to media wasn't ABUNDANTLY FUCKING OBVIOUS, ha... haha--"
Ahem. The grin tightened.
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The fact that she's so surprised speaks miles, doesn't it...
"Well... yeah, okay! We can talk about it."
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God, he doesn't fucking care at all. If this pipe dream of Charlie's is true, then let some suckers head up to Heaven and lick lollipops and play in ball pits all day or something, but a Deal was a Deal.
This was a shot to make Alastor eat his words.
...But he would do anything for the little potato he'd been exchanging transmission peeps with, too. He wondered if his father ever felt like this for him at all.
"Perfect!" He brought his hands together. The slides all clipped together into something of a flippable little book that he directed to Charlie to peruse at her own leisure. It tingled to the touch, yet had some semi-solid sensation to it nevertheless. Weird.
"So my suggestion is that I spend the day in observation, see how everything goes in the hotel. Ideally, I'd like if everybody acted like I'm not here, but that can be a tall order."
He stepped up and draped one arm over Charlie's shoulders, the other hand sweeping before them. "Give me a taste of the Hazbin Hotel experience! Let's see that big first impression for those who want to reach those pearly gates...!"
no subject
Keeping employees in line...? Well, they've been great, so that hasn't been a huge issue... funding and money management? Well, keeping the business documents in line is a little annoying, but no one's really called her on any mistakes...
"I guess most of what's not in here is just helping with maintenance and de-escalating anything violent happening. Sometimes helping take care of pets when the guests are gone for a long time... uhh, sometimes helping them through their withdrawals... and finding all the stashes of drugs..."
Those are the things that keep them busiest.
"That's an everyone job, but Alastor was really good at finding stashes. And keeping people from fighting."
Half of the time just by virtue of showing himself - most people scrambled just to get out of the way, offering plenty of time for cool-off and for someone more reasonable to intervene.
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"But deescalating fights? Please..." He turned to face her with a cheshire cat smile, left eye swirling.
"I can be persuasive, dear. They may even be happy to show me where every last baggie is hidden away, as one important step toward their new life."
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Though not nearly as angry as her girlfriend, Charlie nodded in agreement. "Vaggie's right - we have rules, and our guests agreed to them, but we can't just force them to do the right thing. That isn't being better or kinder, and that isn't talking through their anger and hurt at each other. So that sort of thing wouldn't work here for what we're doing."
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"Then I trust you've got alternative methods! Since Alastor's not here, I'm now more curious than ever on how you propose breaking up a fight! All the more reason to observe, see this place in its most... organic."
He clicked his tongue. "We'll just circle back to hypnotism another time."
He conjured one more slide, an overview on hypnotherapy, and slid that hot little number in with the rest of the 'book' he'd offered Charlie.
"Now, when you mention maintenance...?"
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"Usually while he was already looking for drug stashes, since half of those are just flushed..."
"Hah! Yeah, that's true. Oh man, you get over being squeamish about toilets SO fast here, haha!"
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Vox froze briefly. Toilets. Alastor mentioned toilets.
He burst out laughing, hands on hips. "Ohohokay...! Alright- you got me! See, I thought I just heard I was going to be working on toilets... good one...!"
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Because, seriously?
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"Four just walked out, one kept using the drugs he found stashed in there, three of them ended up dealing them back to the guests, eight took the paychecks and pretended to work until they stopped showing up, and one had a stalker that was constantly trying to put hidden cameras all over the hotel."
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Pleeeease, he doesn't wanna mess with toilets, groooooss, that's janitor stuff-
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SORRY, BUB...
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...
Do it for them.
Do it for the peeper.
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"Okay-! So I add some parameters to Shok.wav's olfactory systems. He can smell blood in water for approximately a kilometer, and I'm sure he can sniff out narcotics on a guest arriving and send an alert. It's that or installing a camera at the door, and I'd assume that's a no-no, right...?"
He began to pace. "But he- and I- can't be here 24/7, so some things may slip through the cracks. However, finding SOME drug stashes beats finding too many."
Vox turned and pointed to Charlie. "You, princess, can traverse the Rings freely. You're also probably buddies with Queen Belphegor- surely you can tap in a favor and get hold of at least a couple of fresh counselors who specialize in addiction...?"
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But! Maybe things would be different, now? Hopefully...!!
"Satan already helps with getting shipments on food here from Wrath, so. I should see if Bel reconsidered."
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He brought his hands together. "...So! With all of that in mind to start... how are we feeling, what are we thinking?"
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"Keep your sadism to yourself and you might even be a better version of what half-assed work Alastor gave us."
"Vaggie!! He did try, don't be so hard on him..."
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oogh, vaggie... they better fucking dig into that, fr fr
THE DREAM
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