Mom says it's my turn with the Alastor

[sugaronthecream]

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[youknowwhothisis]

He sighed quietly, dusted off. "Ah, I usually just go for a couple of long soaking baths. Tussles might encourage broken blood feathers."

But he rolled his shoulders. "Eugh, and then I get shoulder aches and associated headaches and it's not a good time at all! So the path of least resistance makes me a happy guy surviving the stupid... thing. But at least my wings are a hundred times more handsome when they're done!"

[sugaronthecream]

"You need to eat more for it~" Alastor chuckled, leaning back over the counter and walking his fingers closer. You know you wanna hold that hand. "When I was helpin' miss Marnie with her chickens, late fall we always made sure they had plenty of protein for making new feathers. Maybe a bit of salve to soothe the skin, an extra pair of hands to ease the tension in your shoulders~"

Pampering didn't come naturally to Alastor, but with their intimate moments and his attempts to practice preening, he's gotten much more open to it. (And the other residents have consequently become targets for his mischief more often.)

"It'll be bringing in your winter coat, hoh hoh."

[youknowwhothisis]

"You must have missed lunch, because that's two comparisons to poultry in my direction in fifteen minutes, Bambi. Get 'em out of your system."

He turned to his bourbon for a little soothing, and idly watched him walk his fingers along. The salve and an extra pair of hands did sound nice, though... and despite feeling a little bitchy at the moment- he was already itching a bit- yeah... yesfineokay he wanted to hold that hand.

"...Oh. Really? I get snack-y during a molt and I figured it was stress-eating."

[sugaronthecream]

"I thought you liked birds. Or maybe I'm just quackers," Alastor teased, taking his grumpy king's hand and running his thumb along those knuckles. "You're growing six wings' worth of feathers! Now, I'll just make sure to feed you right. Extra rich shrimp and grits... mmm, maybe a pot pie, it's been a minute since I delved into dough making. Pulled smoked meat with beans and rice. Blackened gar. Fried greens."

A playful little drumming of his fingers on the inside of Lucifer's wrist.

"Double to fatten you up for the winter hibernation."

[youknowwhothisis]

Wordplay. A corner of his mouth twitched, but he smoothed it out. He never really shared anything like this with anybody, opting to stick it out himself until the process was over and have some sort of appointment to have his wings professionally groomed and prettied up.

This one just... caught him by surprise by being very late and all. The weather was weird this year. Thanks, climate change.

Those dishes all sounded really good. His touch was comforting. Lucifer's expression softened despite not looking at him, but it paused, brow quirked at the end there.

"Puh, I wish I could hibernate all winter, skip the big meeting. Anyway, if I eat all that I'm going to need to be carried everywhere until I wake from the calorie coma."

[sugaronthecream]

"A peking duck fattened up and set to snooze on his comfortable throne! Sounds like a winter fit for the morning star indeed," Alastor hummed in amusement.

"Not to worry, my dear. After we have a good laugh at the maze antics, I'll make sure you're properly basted in a bath."

[youknowwhothisis]

"Thinking only with your stomach, are you? What if I wanted a little venison? Some carnitas? A steak that melts in the mouth, comfort food, huh?"

[sugaronthecream]

"As you wish," Alastor hummed, brushing his knuckle against Lucifer's cheek. "It'll be your days to be spoiled."

[youknowwhothisis]

The color rose in his face and he scowled. "Of course I walked into that..."

But with a minute shake of his head, he added: "Look- I don't really talk openly about the molt. It sucks, it's the worst and I can't fly..."

[sugaronthecream]

"Well, of course not, you'll be missing feathers. I imagine that makes it quite challenging. But I'm no stranger to having to lock oneself in for a week or more for the sake of appearances," he agreed with a hum, going back to simply holding Lucifer's hand and sipping at his own drink again.

[youknowwhothisis]

What an odd thing to note. A brow furrowed, he gripped his hand a little tighter. "...Wwwhat do you mean...?"

[sugaronthecream]

"Mmm. It may be coming up soon. I'll have to arrange for someone to manage my duties."

Sigh.

"Some years it's a rut. Some it's a heat. Either way, it is humiliating."

[youknowwhothisis]

He waited for the laugh, the punchline. Neither happened.

"Oh."

Color him curious, though. But he cleared his throat quietly. "I'm, ah. Sorry. I can arrange coverage."

[sugaronthecream]

"It should be fine. Just a matter of needing to assure Charlie that nothing's wrong. Nor am I up to anything nefarious."

...

"Though perhaps it's preferable if she thinks I've slinked off to commit evil, cannibalistic deeds."

Much preferred to Charlie knowing that he's completely sexually frustrated and out of his mind for a while.

"The pains one must take to be taken seriously even when suffering through physical bodies."

[youknowwhothisis]

He tried a smile. "Ha... I think the latter might be better. If things are too quiet with you around, it's far more cause for concern than knowing you're out having yourself a 'picnic'."

But knowing where Alastor stood on that particular spectrum, Lucifer couldn't help but worry a little. Humiliation was probably his attempt to put it lightly.

He lifted their linked hands and pressed a kiss to the knuckles. "...Days that make you wish you were just a bunch of fog for a while instead of an annoying solid."

[sugaronthecream]

"And even then, when you return to the physical, you've merely put everything on pause. It's quite vexing," Alastor hummed, voice softening at the kiss as he leaned a bit closer. "You're not so special that I don't know your aching pride~"

[youknowwhothisis]

"It's always been my greatest sin. So we keep off about my chicken wings, and I won't bat an eyelash when you start bashing your antlers against walls or something."

Because whatever could be the matter of a little thing like rut, anyway? There were no other deer for more than a few miles.

[sugaronthecream]

Alastor's initial reply is a displeased, honking "Hmmm".

There was a moment to measure just how much he was going to share, but... knowing how deer work... there was a good chance he'd react to Lucifer's smell if he wasn't cautious.

Far less embarrassing to head this off at the pass, then.

"Doe will entice bucks to chase, usually for miles. I tend to lock myself away lest some filthy minded demon seeks to take advantage of the moment."

[youknowwhothisis]

"Soooo what you're saying is that I might need to fight off some bastards that come sniffing?"

The point was completely lost.

"S'been long enough since I've rolled up my sleeves and given someone a piece of my mind. Back, you jackals! That's all mine!"

[sugaronthecream]

Oh, but that's cute. Alastor's grin widened, and he leaned over the counter, resting his chin on his hand flirtatiously.

"You'll defend my honor~? Squash a few vermin to stake your claim? Never let it be said you aren't charming~!"

[youknowwhothisis]

"Hmhm~" He set his glass aside.

"None will remain!" He released Alastor's hand only to hike himself upon the bar completely, scoot himself forward. He could have leaned as well, but damn it, when everyone was a thousand feet tall he had to make do...!

"They will be crushed in your name, a final death for the insult! And at the end of the day, when all is quiet and you've endured the way your body betrays you... you will have a much-needed little snack." How dare this Sinner be so cute, chin in hand like this? He reached for and framed his face with both hands, gently angled it up.

"I'll bring you a silver platter, a selection of your would-be suitor's hearts. Little would they know they would get what they desired: Being near you... just not in the way that they'd hoped~"

[sugaronthecream]

Oh, the theatrics of it all! It made Alastor's shriveled old heart putter happily. His pallid tone warmed with a blush as he nuzzled into Lucifer's hands, ears relaxing backwards as he leaned into the affections.

"All of those desperate fools wanting to be inside me, and only you would get that wish in the way they'd even hoped~" Alastor crooned, resting a hand over one of the ones on his cheeks.

[youknowwhothisis]

He couldn't mask the way his breath quietly caught, the small swallow if he tried. Talk like that just does things to a guy.

He tipped his head and brushed his lips against a corner of that ever-present grin. "...If that is your wish when the time comes, then I'd be happy to soothe your ache, cher..."

[sugaronthecream]

Oh, he'd have it no other way, Lucifer... though he does lightly chuckle. "Though if it's a rut? Hoh, hoh. I hope you're quite ready to be hunted down like prey~"

[youknowwhothisis]

He snorted a bit. "Heh- I think I've been compared to food enough that I can handle a little hunting. Though, you'll be alright compared to heat, huh? Fewer weirdos if you're the one pursuing, as you're the one shooting your shot."