divinetree | Mom says it's my turn with the Alastor

The creature stood and swaggled its head proudly with the compliments, and only as an afterthought got up and off the king, who remained in his spot on the floor, quite ruffled up.

"SliPpeRy pUddLes..." That was agreement. Maybe. Kind of.

"This... this is the end of the line... for me, Alastor... I am slain..."

Alastor, ever-grinning, crouched down and marveled at his comedically squashed king.

"Alas, poor Yorrick! I'm certain your funeral will be beautiful. A roasted duck for every mourner. All of the mourners in blinding, ghostly white in your honor, huddled under their acid-proof umbrellas as even the skies weep for your loss. Shall I bury your ducks with you, dear Lucifer? Adorn them in tiny caskets, nail tiny sickles over their necks to assure they don't rise from the dead in vengeance?"

"Bury me with my ducks... a gift for the river crossing... or to bear me over Styx..."

He shakily raised an arm. "I have but one... final request. If... if nothing else..."

A soft gasp of breath. The drama. "A kiss..."

"A kiss, you say...! It would be such a sweet, parting sorrow... do I have your blessing to eat your heart, darling? You've promised it to me, after all, I swear I'll eat it beautifully raw, most respectful," Alastor cooed in delight, gently rolling his 'squashed' companion onto his back, playfully walking his fingers up Lucifer's chest.

He was like a limp noodle, now on his back. But as he lay his head back, opening the way to chest and throat, he gave his final decree:

"I trust no other to such a prize...! Just..."

A pathetic little cough-

"Pair it... with an appropriate wine..."

"There's no wine so sweet as you, my dear," Alastor chuckled, giving Lucifer a gentle kiss to his deathly quivering lips. Gentle, soft, a sad farewell...!!

Leaning back, Alastor clapped, summoning a large and viciously sharp knife, already glowing with green veves.

"Now then. I ought to get that first bite while your heart still beats for me~"

Really, he could have just asked for a kiss, but the roleplay just made it fun. Yet to see him draw up that knife, a small bead of sweat popped onto the brow.

Uhh... they're- they're still just playing, right?

Funsies? A game? Al...? ...Sweetie...?

"Now, hold still~♥ I'll make it quick."

Making a show of it, Alastor gave the knife a playful twirl in his hands before quickly plunging it right into Lucifer's chest...!!!

...In lieu of any piercing agony was instead a harmless smack, the knife revealed to be a fistful of wilted flowers.

Maybe he'd break the knife. Maybe in some fashion it would hurt, and he waaaasn't great when it came to pain-

The knife glinted and his heart raced. The plunge had him shut his eyes tight and wait for the worst-

Smack.

...

One eye opened a crack. Then the other. Flowers.

After a pause, he wheezed into a fit of laughter. "You...! You-! Are-! A-! Bastard!"

That wheezing laughter was always so grating in the beginning, but it's got such a delightful glint to it for Alastor, now. His king wears his heart too much on his sleeve... but, perhaps it doesn't matter, once one is as powerful as Lucifer.

The flowers crinkle and crumble, already long dead since Alastor had grasped them, but it only added to the humor. The Sinner chuckled, enjoying the shock and delight.

And relishing the fact that Lucifer was about to just let Alastor stab him. Silly, trusting fool. Fondness makes him so weak.

"How did you guess~?"

"I think it was right around the time you started swingin' that thing down that gave me the epiphany...!" He made a vague stabbing motion with a hand as he worked to catch his breath.

"But you weren't the first knife I've come across!" He sat up then, and reached for the flowers, grasped the stems above Alastor's hands. Gradually, he defied their fate and wound the clock back as a soft white light blossomed. Dried, heavily-ailed blooms seemed to take a renewed breath and perk back up. They smelled as if warmed by a bright summer's day and were begging for the honeybees to visit.

"...And as thanks for not prematurely snatching out my heart, have a little something. Put it on my bill." He urged the flowers back in his direction. They always seemed to wilt whenever he touched them, likely a product of his own curse.

"Oh, don't feel too safe just yet - don't you find it romantic that I want to consume you and make you forever a part of me~?" Alastor teased. Rather than killing the flowers again, Alastor tugged open his chest pocket, giving Lucifer a place to tuck the flowers again rather than in his hand.

"Plus, it keeps you on your toes~. Makes things a little more exciting!"

"Oh, fiiine~ If you must have the ego stroke: That you want my heart as much as you do makes this brie real happy."

He gently tucked the flowers away. He really does express himself in a very macabre manner. He's a fucking freak but he's a damn interesting freak.

Lucifer raised a finger. "...Say... what about a mock-up of a sacrificial rite somewhere in the maze that captured maze-goers have a chance to wind up in if caught by some sort of spooky pursuer? Make this whole thing part 'haunted house'?"

"Oh, indeed! Or perhaps it'd be fun to set up little ritual shrines... see what the frustrated, desperate little residents will do for a boon or a hint," Alastor chuckled fondly, bringing them both to their feet again and gently brushing dust and rubble off of Lucifer's shoulders.

"How many will think to place a feather as tribute? How many will desperately spill blood? Oh, riveting!"

Brought to his feet, he submitted to the dusting. His wings emerged, poofed, and he briefly shook them to rouse and help clear off the rest.

"Now that is going to be on my mind when this thing kicks off! But who to pursue them...?" He rubbed his chin.

"A robed, faceless figure that seems to glide across the ground...? Something that can melt into shadows~" He wiggled his fingers.

"My specialty~!" Alastor sang in amusement, clapping to summon one of his impish puppets. Don the little fellow with a dramatic cloak. "Hear that, my friend? Your job is to chase. No maiming! ....Maaaybe a bit of nibbling. They're Sinners, they'll be fine."

...That. That little fella was adorable.

"I appreciate that fella's enthusiasm and spunk, but he's a little... cute, isn't he?"

Alastor gasped, grasping his tie as if he were clutching pearls. "Cute? Why, my friend, did you hear that? Sullying your very spooky name, this man who's made a toothy giant rubber duck!"

He'll snap, giving the now riled-up little creature a scythe. The fired-up shadowy creature bared its unnaturally white (if bloodied) teeth, gnashing and snarling before he started charging right at Lucifer and swinging his new shiny blade.

There's the initial draw-back and yelp from the gnashing and snarling. But once the creature charged, he'd been steeled by the earlier 'attempt' on his life.

Alright. Alright, then.

His cane manifested and went up to parry the swinging blade with a shower of sparks.

"You wanted a duck, dearest Bambi! What, did you change your mind...?"

"Oh, I just know you, sha. You'd have made a duck one way or another," Alastor dramatically shrugged, leaning on his mic as the stitched critter swung feverishly and wildly, almost frothing at the mouth in excitement to try and draw blood. Not that Lucifer was anything less than an immaculate swordsman... eh, less reason to hold back, right?

"I'm more than ducks!" He was entirely focused on Alastor, not even looking at the little guy and parrying the blows regardless.

"Buuuut, yes, I would have made a duck sooner or later. It's my masterpiece!"

"See? No place at all to insult this poor fellow here, he's appropriately ferocious. Though... perhaps I could give you something a little fun," Alastor hummed, getting the little puppet's eager attention. New toy???

After a moment to conjure, Alastor snapped and melting up from the shadows came a massive black stag, eyes glowing a menacing green. The minion giggled maniacally before scrambling up onto the stag's back, raising his scythe in a mischievous battle cry.

Tsk. It wasn't the puppet's pride that went bruised, was it?

"Huhwha?" Fun? Weren't they having fun right no-

The stag appeared, and he was just as quickly towered over by a mounted opponent.

"Please. You can be cute and ferocious with some moxie! Why, I happen to know a guy...!" He stood en garde. He'll keep the cane rather than swapping to a makeshift blade... and, Hell, there was no reason to call on The Big Guns. He hadn't needed to do so in thousands of years, and Adam sure as shit wasn't worth him calling upon his signature.

"With hair red as blood, a jawline I so love to take in hand as he silences my inner torment with a kiss...!"

When in a Mood, swing for the fences.

The critter and his mount melted away into the shadows, leaving Alastor to simply chuckle as he also shifted through shadow to sidestep, re-emerging behind Lucifer with a lovely shimmering rapier in hand - and properly against the small of Lucifer's back.

"Silly choice, the one with the brass teeth that can crunch through bone. A face for radio through and through!" he chuckled. Down at the far end of this turn of the maze, the critter and mount reformed from the shadows, the buck rearing up before starting to gallop towards Lucifer in a charge, its antlers down.

He was still. Again with the blades leveled at him...? Always threaten a guy with a good time, will you?

His eyes burned with glee from the challenge, and here comes ol' bucky, too!

"Crunches through bone, pierces my skin! Either way, what bliss!" He whirled and swung the cane to knock the rapier. He unfurled a wing and swept it forward, the soft appendage proving to be something of an aegis against the charging creature. The prongs bit into flesh and oh, he was tempted to go toe to toe as a buck of his own, but there was another time for that.

"And don't think I'd never figure out what 'paillasse' means...! Keep your face for radio all you like, Bambi..."

His tail whistled through the air in a whip. "...And this fool will enjoy the pleasure of it all for himself."

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